Subaruthless

You know what I hate?  I hate when you're driving along in your 1998 Subaru Legacy Outback, running errands with your son, and suddenly the temperature gauge goes all goofy on you, and you don't know whether it's an emergency situation (i.e. the car is about to blow up), or the gauge is just having a bad day.

You know what I mean?

The worst part is that everything was going along so nicely; we (father and son) were getting things accomplished, we were checking off the errands, we were buying the things that needed to get bought (e.g. guitar strings, clarinet reed cases), we were heading off to do some serious birthday-gift shopping for Adam, and we were smelling radiator fluid inside the car.

Why were we smelling radiator fluid inside the car?  I mean, really, it was like we were being gassed by the Radiator Skunk.  Ick.

Naturally, my eyes were drawn to the instrument panel where the little gauges sit, with their little needles pointing half-way between the zero (car off) position and the Max Value (car on fire) position.  Well, they're supposed to point half-way.  Right at the point when I looked at the instrument panel, the little needle on the water temperature gauge was pointing right at the 'H' - which stands for "Hoo-boy!" or something similar - and it dawned on me that There Was Trouble in River City.

Luckily, we were just about to turn into the parking lot of the music store, so the needle didn't have a chance to leap out of the instrument panel and onto the floor before I was able to shut off the motor (but not the radiator fan!) and let the car cool down a bit.

We walked into the store and made our purchases.  Slowly.  And tried to forget the vision we'd seen on the way in: steam rolling from the front of the car and onto the ground.

When we came out, we crossed our fingers, started the car, and drove quickly to our next destination.  We almost made it.  Half a mile, and the needle was back up at the 'H', and we were forced to stop. And wait. And wait.

Another mad dash, another parking lot, another lull in a store while the steam dissipated. And then -

It was time to go home.

We knew what was ahead.  A long, stuttery kind of trip.  A collection of short hops, separated by moments of sheer boredom (and impatient waiting).  We drove. We stopped.  We drove again.  We stopped again.  Repeat, ad infinitum.

When the car finally reached the driveway, we were relieved.  We were ecstatic.  We were angry and frustrated at the car.  Yet also grateful and happy that it was not sitting beside the road waiting for a tow truck.

I can't wait to tear it all apart and figure out what's wrong with it.

Tomorrow.

(Didn't want to go to work anyway.)

1984

In 1984, my dad turned 49, which is where I'm nearly at.  Just a couple more months.  It's weird to think about the fact that when my dad was my age, he already had four kids in college.  My oldest son is (hopefully!) going to enter college next year.  That's what happens when you get into the whole marriage / family thing at a later age.  Good thing, though, because I wasn't nearly ready for marriage any earlier (and, in some ways, still wasn't ready at 29!).

So I was pondering where my dad was when he was where I am, when his first child was about to enter college, and trying to do the math in my head (which hurts!), and came up with 1978. Spring/summer of 1978.  Do you remember 1978?  Dad was only 43.  Just a kid.  Yet he had already accomplished a great deal by that time.  Been a school teacher for years.  Worked with numerous churches out in California. Doubled the size of his house.  Left his extended family and friends to go to preaching school and fufill a dream.  Finished Personal Evangelism school.  Moved his family from Atwater to Harrison to Arlington to Richmond. Preached, walked door-to-door to talk to people about Jesus, visited people in hospitals and nursing homes to bring them comfort.  Led singing, taught classes, spent innumerable hours in people's houses to bring them closer to God.

What amazes me most is how much more he went on to do.  He had barely gotten started in Virginia, and even though he had already done a great deal of work by then, his greatest work was yet to come.  He would continue to start churches, preach the Word, evangelize, fellowship, and make friends everywhere he went.

That thought gives me hope.  Because even though we can't stop getting older, we don't have to stop learning and growing and changing and accomplishing.

I remember my days in Virginia with great fondness, and it never occurred to me that Dad was going to continue to make changes in his life as he went along.  It had always been my assumption that Mom and Dad would live the rest of their lives in Richmond, with Mom as a nurse and Dad as an evangelist, while the rest of us would go out and do whatever it is that people do when they leave home; that we would come back and visit every once in a while and they would always be there in that lovely old house with the big barn in the back, maybe a little grayer, maybe a few more wrinkles, but always there.

But Dad is not the type to sit on laurels or get comfortable when there is still work to be done.  He's a great doer; when he sees something that needs to be done, he gets up and does it.  So when he got the call to go to Texas, he went.  And got involved in churches.  And built church buildings.  And preached and teached and sang and fellowshipped and comforted and helped people. And built a new shop.  And built all kinds of furniture.  And repaired people's houses.

It's amazing the things he's done in the past twenty-four years.  If I'm half as productive as he is over the next twenty-four years, I'll be a happy man.

Meanwhile, Dad, I wish you a Happy Birthday, with many more to come.  You're an inspiration!

Ketchup

Seems like I'm always playing catch-up these days.  I hate waking up in the morning and realizing that I'm behind schedule before my feet have hit the floor.  But that seems to be the way it is these days!

This past week was just one of those crazy weeks where too many things happened and there wasn't time enough to get anything done. 

First off, we had our Writer's Group on Sunday, where we celebrated the fact that one of the members of our group, Susie Finkbeiner, finally landed a book contract.  After numerous rewrites of her already-wonderful story.  Naturally, we were all excited.  And envious.  And feeling a bit guilty for feeling envious.  But that's the way it goes with writers.  We're a curious bunch.

On Monday, a new guy started at work.  He's supposed to replace another guy who has found gainful employment elsewhere.  The new guy has a lot to learn because the other guy knew everything.  And the only person we have around to train the new guy, is a third person who used to work in our group but has moved on to another department.  And he can only provide the training after he's done with his current duties.  Which means that the learning curve is going to be long and slow.

Meanwhile, two other guys - both experts in the code - have moved on to other jobs.  In other companies. In other cities.  Leaving me with no software engineers who know the code.  And a software release coming up.  Very soon.

No stress, no stress at all.

I had to skip out most of Monday anyway to take an EGD test.  Do you know what an EGD test is?  That's when they stick a camera down your throat to see what's wrong with it.  In my case, it's my second EGD for the purpose of finding out why my swallowing is restricted.  The first time they did it, they said that my throat was "inflamed".  Whatever that means.  They couldn't figure out the cause, but gave me some antibiotics in case it was infected.  Which it evidently wasn't.  Because the antibiotics did nothing.   And I still had trouble swallowing.

I went in before lunch and they gave me an IV with happy drugs in it so I would sleep, and some goopy liquid to drink which numbed my throat; and after they were done, Cheryl drove me home.  I slept until nearly 5, at which time we had dinner.  And I still had trouble swallowing.

Deb had her first Track Meet on Tuesday.  Mary and I went over to the church so that she could do her weekly babysitting.   We hung out afterward, waiting for the Scouts to show up for the Troop meeting, but they never did. We only have one Scout who is working on his merit badges, and I think he had something else going on that day, so I wasn't surprised.

Wednesday was the usual nuttiness, culminating in an incredibly bizarre Youth Group meeting.  I actually ended up with more neighborhood kids than pre-enrolled kids in my class, and it was obvious that they weren't used to paying attention in class or respecting authority or anything like that.  I mean, they were good kids, at heart; but it was obvious that discipline was not in their daily school cirriculum.

Thursday was another Track day for Deb, Anime club for James, Game club for Adam.  Which meant a bit of driving to pick everyone up at the correct times.

Friday was just insane.  I was supposed to pick up James after school because he was going to be bringing his bass home (so he could play it on Sunday), then swing over to Steak'n'Shake to pick up Mary (who was getting a treat from her teacher due to perfect grades), then pick up Deb from Track practice.  But James forgot about being picked up and took the bus home, so he wasn't there when I went to get him.  I went home and picked him up and took him back to school so he could get his bass, then swung over to pick up Mary, but they were still waiting on their food; so I took James back home, then went back to pick up Mary.  Then back to the school to pick up Deb.

I was hoping to work on a few projects on Saturday, like the bike lift and my shop (which is a bit of a cluttered mess) and the basement (which is a lot of a cluttered mess), but ended up reading The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo instead, and then helping James and Nathan with their camera rig project.  Then went garden shopping with Cheryl and bought a few things (blueberry bushes, strawberry plants, bee-attracting flowers), including a rotating compost bin, which Adam and Mary put then together.  We had been faking a compost bin by putting all our scraps into a couple buckets, but those were not draining as well as I had hoped, so they were staying too wet.  I'm hoping the bin works out better.

Now I'm reading the second book in the Millenium series, The Girl who Played with Fire, hoping that there will be less racy stuff and more story, but it doesn't start out so promising.  It's Swedish, after all.  What can you expect?

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EsophagoGastroDuodenoscopy: medical term indicating an endoscopic examination of the esophagus, stomach (gastro-), and duodenum.

Solo Ensemble / Duo Afternoon

Deb has had a busy year. She's been playing flute in the orchestra, she joined the Track Team, and she's been hanging out with a boy. (Don't worry ... she has two big brothers and a Dad to watch over her.)

Today was her Solo / Ensemble Adjudication, where groups of orchestral students gather together in duos or trios to play pieces in front of judges and get some feedback on how well they're doing. She and another girl are playing a flute duet, with piano accompaniment provided by her mother.

Cheryl volunteered to play piano for several of the solo/ensemble groups, to provide harmonious accompaniment (or, in some cases, melodious accompaniment) for their musical selections. Which means, of course, that she's been getting together with multiple groups over the past few weeks so that they can practice. Including Deb and her fellow flutist. Makes for a bit of a busy schedule lately!

Today is the culmination of all those activities. Hundreds of eager young musicians gathered at a school way out in the country to play and be judged, to get feedback from musical professionals, and to sit around and get incredibly nervous.

Cheryl left a bit early this morning (with Deb) to pick up one of the other soloists and head on down to the school so they could warm up in one of the Practice Rooms. I joined them a bit later and was able to listen to them warm up. They sounded very good to me! But, then, I may be a bit prejudiced.

I wasn't the only "guest" to show up, either. A few minutes after my arrival, Deb's best friend in the whole world surprised her by showing up - along with the boy.

So when it came time, we all traipsed across the hall into the Performance Room and sat down and listened to Deb and her fellow flutist - and their marvelous accompanist! - play their piece; and then we listened some more as the adjudicator complimented them on their performance, and gave them some helpful commentary. And then we all traipsed back to the Practice Room.

Fifteen minutes later, the room host (who is there to help guide the students between the Practice Rooms and the Examination Rooms, and back again) brought in their score cards. They'd both scored 1's! Which is apparently the highest marks they can get! Yay! Celebration time! So they went down the hall and traded in their score cards for these cool little medals with blue (or was it purple?) ribbons.

Mission accomplished!

Then I took all the kids down to the cafeteria and treated them to pizza and sodas. And candy. Because I am Dad, and that is what Dads do.

Meanwhile, Cheryl went off to another Practice Room to play piano accompaniment for several other soloists / duets.

And after the kids were full of greasy pizza and bubbly soda, I took them (except the fellow flutist, who had come with someone else) back to our house, after which time they all took a walk down to the elementary school to throw frisbees or kick the soccer ball or something like that, while I worked quietly in my little garage shop.

Cheryl returned later that afternoon, after she had finished all her piano accompanimenting and the entire Adjudication event was done.

When the kids returned from their little adventure, they grabbed some snacks and sat on the couch and watched the 1983 movie version of "The Pirates of Penzance" starring Linda Ronstadt, Rex Smith, Angela Lansbury, Tony Azito and some guy named Kevin Kline.

Deb and the boy actually sat next to each other on the couch. But don't worry -- Mom and Dad were both watching!

And finally, after a long, hard day of boy-watching, I was relieved by Deb's best friend's parents, who came to take them away. Her best friend and the boy, I mean. Not Deb. She had to stay with us.

And we had to put up with that silly grin on her face all night.

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Postscript:

Cheryl had an interesting story about her afternoon adventures back at the Adjudication. Apparently a woman took a misstep on some steps while taking a picture of her kid, and she broke her ankle. Cheryl just happened to be nearby, so she helped administer some first aid, and treated her for shock. That's my awesome wife!

What Do You Want to Be When You Grow Up?

I've always known what I wanted to be when I grew up, ever since I found Dad's old CIE^[1] kit ... and my parents bought me that electronic kit one Christmas. Although the word "engineer" wasn't really in my vocabulary at the time. And my idea of a career in electronics had more to do with repairing radios and televisions than working on computers and programs.

True, I've always loved airplanes and the thought of flying, and I've been writing stories and poems since the age of eight (on Mom's wonderful old portable Olivetti^[2] Valentine typewriter, which I still remember with great fondness). But "pilot" and "writer" were not on the list of possible majors at the colleges I was hoping to attend. Nor was "singer/songwriter", "poet", "actor" or "movie director", although those were all things which appealed to me.

Electronics was something tangible, something that tied directly to a college major and led directly to a career once all the schooling was done. By the time I was a senior in high school, Electrical Engineer was in my vocabulary - and in my brain - as a worthy goal. Too, a new phrase had recently entered the jargon of the day: Computer Engineer, which combined Electrical Engineer with Computer Science. This one sounded very interesting, especially since I was coming of age right around the time that Personal Computers were becoming affordable for many people, and it was still possible for a young person as myself to go to Radio Shack and buy parts and build a kind of personal computer.

It was a no-brainer, then, when it came to college. I picked out some schools which offered electrical engineering and/or computer science and/or computer engineering. MIT, CalTech, WashU. Two rejections, one acceptance. Problem solved.

As luck would have it, engineering was (and is), in general, a well-paying career. Mostly. Enough to finance a few dreams here and there. Girlfriend. Wife. Kids. House. Maybe even college for those kids. Maybe.

On the subject of college and those kids, we run into the age-old question of: What do you want to be when you grow up? And its corollary: How are you going to get there?

We've been bugging Adam for months on this subject for one very particular reason: he's about to graduate High School.^[3] It's almost time for him to move on, move out, grow up, get on with life.

He has until the beginning of May to decide which school he is going to attend. This isn't a deadline we've set for him; it's so that the college(s) can figure out the housing arrangements.

In order to get ready for this decision, there are all sorts of other preliminaries that have to be completed. Like filling out applications. Like applying for scholarships. Like finding money for tuition and books. Like finding a job to help pay for school costs.

To me, this is where the real decision is made, the decision about readiness. Is he really ready to be an adult, to handle the kinds of decisions he's going to have to make whem Mom and Dad aren't there to give him all the answers, or to push him to get things done? If he is ready, I shouldn't have to keep reminding him to get all these things done. He should have enough initiative and drive and ambition to do these things himself, especially after we've brought them to his attention multiple times.

If not ... well, maybe he's not ready yet. Maybe he should sit this year out, find a job to make some money while he figure out what he really wants out of life. Maybe step out on his own, away from Mom-and-Dad's sheltering arms, and find out how to take care of himself.

We've been discussing lots of options lately. Deferring school for a year. Working full-time and taking some community college classes to get the basics out of the way. Spending the summer with grandparents.

I try to remember back to 1981 when it was my turn to grow up and leave home. I wasn't ready to grow up, not really.^[4] But I was very lucky, and very blessed to have parents who were very patient with me. I don't have that kind of patience. And my purpose is to make sure my children learn from my experiences. If they're not ready to buckle down and study so that they don't waste a lot of time and money frittering away their study time on other things, they're not going. Not on my dime, and not on the government dime. I don't want them to come out with a huge debt hanging over their head. It's just not right.

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^[1]Cleveland Institute of Electronics. Still alive and kicking.
^[2]Olivetti, alas, no longer produces manual typewriters.
^[3]He also turns eighteen. He's an adult.
^[4]I'm still not ready. Can you tell?

Fleeing the Sinking Ship

The ship isn't actually sinking; it's more like the crew is getting tired of poor rations.

But they're still jumping ship.

It's not like we have an overflowing coffer of engineers, either. Many of them already have been dragged off to other programs, some of whom we may never see again as they disappear behind the mysterious wall of NDA.^[1]

But it's the few who have taken The Big Step and found gainful employment at other companies - those are the ones we envy.

Because they have found companies small enough (so far) to avoid the bane of engineers: bureaucracy, overhead, multilevel management. Those guys (and girls) will actually be able to write code and create systems and ship stuff out the door that doesn't require a ton of documentation and certification paperwork. They'll be able to use the skills they really value rather than wonder if they'll ever be able to code again.

And I'd probably do the same thing if we weren't on the cusp of sending our oldest kid off to college. This isn't a good time to be taking chances.

Kinda makes me sad, wistful, and envious.

The first time it happened, it wasn't too bad. The guy had already moved off our project to work on another one, and he's one of those brilliant engineers who really needs to be working on something cool, 'cause otherwise he's just wasting his time. But he knew everthing about our project.

The second time, it was a guy who had also moved on to another project, but we were using him as kind of a consultant on our project because he knew everthing about our lab equipment and had set everything up and we didn't have anyone trained up yet to do what he had been doing.

The third time, it was our last remaining engineer who knew everything about our project, and was, in fact, still working on our project. He was, in essence, the Last Engineer Standing. But he had found a better job in a much better place - about five miles from his house, instead of the thirty miles he currently travels every day (each way).

So we're left with no one. All of our engineers are gone. I'm the only person remaining who can actually read (and update) the software. But as the Lead, I'm not supposed to do that kind of work. I'm supposed to manage other people who do that kind of work.

Looks like it's going to be an interesting summer!

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^[1]Non-Disclosure Agreement. They have to promise not to tell anyone anything!

Spring Break Summary

Spring Break is traditionally a difficult time to keep up with blogs and writing and things like that, because there's so much going on and there is hardly any time to sit and think (or sit and write), so I'm going to just summarize all the things that happened this week.

Sunday
It was a glorious Palm Sunday. In Sunday School, we made palm leaves and practiced laying them down for Jesus to walk over. In the afternoon, Adam and I attended the Writer's Group and celebrated the fact that one of our members, Susie Finkbeiner, has landed a book contract.

The boys went downtown to WinterJam while Cheryl and I went shopping for groceries and "incidentals". Incidentally, we purchased a gazebo for the back deck.

The boys came home early because WinterJam was sold out, and nearly 1,000 people had to be turned away. (Which is what often happens with first-come, first-served, general admission events.) But as a consolation, some of the bands came out and did an acoustic set for the kids who couldn't get in. That was cool.

We spent the remainder of the evening putting up the gazebo. The girls are having some friends sleep over tonight. I hope they get some sleep!

Monday
I had to get up early to run over to the lab and get the blood work done for my physical. Then came back home to cook breakfast for the family and our guests. Bacon & eggs & pancakes, yum!

Everyone but me gets to stay home and enjoy the day off.

"White Bird" is stuck in my head. I don't know why. I worked out the chords to it and played it a few times, but it doesn't sound quite right. Did some research and found out the song was written by the group "It's a Beautiful Day" while they were staying in an attic room in Seattle. On a winter's day. In the rain.

Tuesday
Mary did the babysitting gig at Kindermusic tonight. I wasn't planning on doing Scouts because it's Spring Break, but a couple of the Scouts showed up anyway to work on Life Scout activities, so we had a bit of a review (while Mary waited impatiently) and then we went on home to do our family reading time. Finished Prince Caspian.

Wednesday
We have a guy coming in to the office today to interview for a position as Test Lead. I'm hoping he's qualified, because I'm ready for someone to take my job so I can move on. But the interviews do not go as well as I'd hoped.

We (in the Youth Group ministry) weren't sure how many kids were going to show up for church tonight, so we didn't plan anything significant. Which is just as well, since only a few kids came. We played some games out on the playground. Afterward, I chatted with some folks about coming over for Easter dinner on Sunday. Traditionally, we do a Christian Seder meal, and it's lots of fun to invite people who've never experienced it before. Later, at home, we started The Silver Chair, which I've never read before.

Thursday
I had to run into the office for a post-interview discussion. Then spent the rest of the day working from home.

Friday
The antique dinner table on which we're going to have our Easter dinner needs some attention: the ends are weak and need to be better supported, so I need to devise some kind of bracing for it. Cheryl needs to go shopping, and she's taking the boys with her so they can fill out job applications (for the summer). I used up all my little hinges on one of the two braces, so had to go out and get some more. While at the hardware store, I checked at the front desk about their hiring procedures. They need the boys to make a personal appearance (as opposed to simply filling out an on-line applicatin form), so, when Cheryl and the boys get home, she volunteers to take them back out to the hardware store to sign up. I have the braces done by dinner time. We're having pizza. Then watching part 1 of "The Great Race" again. We've only seen it about a million times. But it's always worth watching again.

Saturday
A beautiful day in the neighborhood. The morning is spent getting our house chores done so we can be ready for our guests on Sunday. Lots of vacuuming, dusting, mopping. James does the weed-eating while Adam and I work for a little while in the front garden, weeding by hand. Cheryl does some menu planning in the kitchen. Deb and I spend an hour or so out in the gazebo, reading books in the warm, gentle afternoon breeze. Later on, after reading time, the family finishes watching "The Great Race".

And now it's time for bed!