Life Takes a Turn

Life is all kinds of whacky right now, and I'm not sure what to make of it, much less what to say about it.  But I'll give it the old college try.

College.  That's kinda what's making life whacky.  Getting ready for it, I mean.  Convincing the parents that he's ready for it, that is.

Adam graduated high school on Thursday night.  Do you know what that means?  It's the first step up the adulthood ladder, the beginning of the end of parental oversight.  It's the point where the parents take a serious look at their offspring and decide whether they've adequately prepared their child for the adventure that is Life, the Universe, and Everything (hint: the answer is "42").

Intellectually and academically, he may be ready.  But I'm not so sure about the rest.  Is he disciplined enough?  Has he experienced enough of Life to be able to handle whatever comes up?  Is he ready to face the harsh realities of this existance?

The first eighteen years have been relatively easy.  He's had parents to watch over his every move and take care of his every need.

His next step is going to be difficult, given the fact that he's never worked a day in his life.  For pay, I mean.  That is, he's never had a job other than the ones given to him by his mother or me.  He's never had a boss who wasn't family.  He's never earned a paycheck.  He's never had to support himself.  (We tried to teach him to budget his money, but that's difficult when there is no real money coming in.)  He's never been more than a few minutes away from someone who could rush to his aid if he ever needed it.

So can he handle things on his own?

He was having a great deal of difficulty finding employment in this part of the country, which isn't a surprise given the state of the economy. Or the economy of the state.  Sure, he filled out applications and talked to hiring managers.  But there's a lot of people out here in Michigan looking for work, and I'm not talking just the high school seniors or the college-aged; I'm talking the older ones who are trying to feed their families and pay the mortgage.  That's stiff competition.

Meanwhile, it occurred to me that this would be a great opportunity for him to get to know his paternal grandparents close up and personal, so I made good on half a promise I'd made years ago, to send the boys down to Texas for the summer so they could pick up their grandfather's carpentry skills.  (Well, I'm sending them one of the two boys, so that makes good on half the promise, right?)

Consequently, Adam was packed and ready to go by mid-morning Saturday.  He rode away in the little red rental car with his grandparents, off on his own little adventure.

I hope he has fun and learns a lot, and takes advantage of the opportunity to ask his grandparents lots of questions, the kind I didn't get a chance to ask until my own were well on in years.

And he comes back ready to buckle down and face the future that is "college".

Totally Distracted by Life

It's been a busy couple of weeks, especially with the fun of not having my car to drive around, riding my bike to work every day, trying to catch up on a million projects around the house, having an 18 year-old around the house, and rapidly approaching Graduation Day.

Graduation Day??  How can that be?

Eighteen years - zip! They've gone, and suddenly the miracle that turned our happy twosome into a fun-filled threesome has finished all that high-school stuff and is ready to claim his place as a functioning adult member of society and move on with his life.

Job.  College.  Car.  Voter's Card. Etcetera.  Not all in that order.  But the reality is rapidly striking home that the nest is going to be emptying soon.  And he's the first one to get to wing it.

This week is going to be a bit more busy than the previous two, and they were bad enough.  But this week is Baccalaureate, Convocation, and then, of course, Graduation.  With two sets of grandparents coming into town.  And there's going to be the usual wringing of hands - "Oh! Where has the time gone?" - and the same old question, over and over again - "So, what are you going to do with your life?" - which he's probably tired of by now.

He's had enough of the bothersome parental nagging - "Have you got a job yet?  College isn't cheap, you know!" - which is only to be expected, as we've seen the bill for college and (surprise!) it ain't cheap.  And he's probably looking forward to a break from the academic stress.  Goofing off, hanging out with friends, writing, relaxing, and all that.

But the clock is still ticking, and summer will soon be over, and then there will be a Reckoning to decide whether he's really ready to jump out into the Big, Scary World and take it all on.  As the Dad, I'm worried and eager, all at the same time.  But mostly worried, because sometimes we dads get blindsided by the rapidity with which our children grow up and suddenly don't seem to need us as much anymore.

Sub(aru)stitute

The car - my car - is still sitting in the garage like a poor, worn-out and broken toy. It won't be going anywhere for a long time.

But my bicycle still works.

It was the highlight of the week so far, taking a bike ride to the Boy Scout meeting.  Cheryl had other errands to run, children to pick up or drop off, and since the church building where the Scouts meet is only three miles away, and the evening was so lovely and warm, it was a no-brainer to take a ride.  Yeah, my body wasn't quite up to it, but I survived.

And it felt good!

In contrast to the appointment this afternoon with the physical therapist doctor lady (whose official title escapes me) who made me wait for an hour in her tiny little examination room before she came strolling in to inform me that I need to do my exercises to strengthen the muscles in my back so my legs will stop hurting.  As if I didn't already know that.  We'd discussed it at the previous appointment.  I was hoping to discuss the MRI results.  Which we did, eventually.

Naturally, all they indicated was that my spine is old.

Being told that I'm old doesn't bother me.  Being forced to wait an hour for an appointment does.  In fact, I was steamed.  When she finally walked into the room, the first words out of my mouth were, "I have to leave in fifteen minutes."  Because I did.  There were children to pick up from track practice.  And dinner to prepare and consume.  And then Scout meetings to attend.  And I didn't really want to jump all over her, but good grief!  Sitting in an exam room for an hour?!?!

It was a relief to depart with what little information I was able to glean.

Picking up Deb after track practice put me in a much better mood.  And then coming home for a wonderful dinner, with interesting conversation with my family.  And then it was time for the evening activities.

It was a planning session at Scouts tonight.  Planning for our summer hikes.  Our last soon-to-be-Eagle Scout has just a couple more merit badges (along with his Eagle Project) to complete, and then he's done.  So we figured out where we'll be going for our five (5) ten-mile hikes.  But we haven't quite pinned down where we'll be going for our one (1) twenty-mile hike.

We're trying to do them at various places to prevent redundancy and boredom.  So we're hitting some dunes over at the Lake, and some river trails, and some urban trails.

My legs are going to be so tired by July.

Subaruined

Twenty-eight hundred dollars is the price quoted by the automobile professionals to heal the infirmity currently disabling my poor little car.  I can't afford it, which means that I'll be sans car for the foreseeable future.

Not a great way to begin a Monday.

I had done my research beforehand.  There were two possibilities, neither of which was particularly palatable, but both offered the faintest hope that the price might not be completely beyond our puny reach.  Alas! Our hopes were dashed.  The first possibility postulated that the water pump be malfunctioning in some slight manner; replacing a water pump, while difficult, is not technologically challenging.  The second possibility hypothesized that the cylinder head gasket was leaking, which would precipitate tearing down the engine to obtain access to that most delicate of enginerial components.  This would be a major undertaking.

When the report was dutifully received from the mechanic, it confirmed our worst fears: the gasket was, indeed, failing to prevent the mixing of exhaust gases with coolant, and thus the coolant was contaminated and unable to properly perform its function.

Replacing the head gaskets would require removal of a significant amount of hardware from the engine.  And would doubtless require several days of activity.

And I have neither the time nor the resources available.

What to do, what to do ...

Adam the Adult

It's All About Jesus

He turned 18 today.  How can that be?  I remember the day his mother brought those little booties into the apartment and announced he was on the way.  That was only the other day, wasn't it? 

The earth has circled the sun many times since that day; we've seen him crawl and walk and run and play and grow up into a smart, funny, thoughtful young man who has a strong desire to be and do right.  We've laughed with him, cried for him, held him when he was hurting, gnashed our teeth when he was driving us crazy, hugged him when he made us so proud, trembled with anxiety when he tried new things on his own and we couldn't be there to make sure he'd be all right, sighed with relief when we realized that he was careful and cautious and ever-so-observant.

Yet still we have fears and anxieties for his future, wondering what will happen, what challenges he will face, what obstacles he will need to overcome, what ups and downs await him in his adult life.  We hope he has been prepared.  We pray for his soul; we pray for his life; we place our hope and our trust in God to watch over him when we cannot.

And we celebrate the achievement of the years he has attained.

Funny how different it is when it's your own kid that comes of age.  Everyone else's kid turning eighteen - well, that's fine and dandy and special and cool.  But my kid!  My kid!  I remember holding him just a few seconds after he was born! I remember holding him on my chest all night as he slept!  I remember worrying so much about him the first time he got sick, the first time he got hurt, the first time he ate a real meal, the first time we celebrated Christmas with him, the day he crawled, the day he walked, the day he ran, the day he went first went to school, the first time I realized that he had to go out into the real world and deal with real people, become his own person, establish his own personality.

Does a parent ever feel ready to let go of a child, to watch them grow up and leave home and become someone outside the immediate circle of the family?  I think I'm ready; some days, I'm ready to pack his bags for him and help him out the door; other days, I'm enjoying the fact that he's still around, playing piano or laughing at the silly things on YouTube or singing songs in Latin or entertaining his friends with board games.

Every Writer Needs a Laptop!

It's the beginning of his Journey, and I can only hope and pray that his mother and I have adequately prepared him for it.  I know we've tried.  We brought him up in our faith and tried to help him find his own. We tried to make sure he had all his physical and mental and emotional and spiritual needs met, as best we knew how.

It's getting close to that time when it's all up to him.  We pray to God that his journey is safe and meaningful and educational and rewarding.  We look forward to seeing what else God has in store for him.

He likes to learn; he likes to write.  We hope that he finds fulfilment in the things he does, in what he learns, what he writes, what he shares, and with whom he finds along the way to share it with.  God bless him.

Subarube the Sequel

It amazes me how relaxing car repair can be.  Even if it isn't really repair so much as it is diagnosis.

Symptomatically, the car was warming up to normal temperature, then quickly overheating in the span of about five minutes.  It seemed a mite suspicious, as though either the thermostat was stuck in the closed position, or perhaps there was some internal gunk that was blocking something.

Sounds like time for a coolant system flush.

So I put the Subaru up on the ramps so it would be easier to access the drain plugs on the bottom side of the engine.  Tried to use the radiator drain plug, but it didn't seem to be draining very well, so then I did the next best thing, since the thermostat needed to be checked anyway: disconnected the lower hose to let it drain straight out.

Replaced the thermostat while I was at it.

Then filled the radiator with good, clean water and sealed up all the hoses and clamps and things, and cranked the engine.  No dice.  She warmed up slow again, the gauge creeping up like it had all the time in the world, then suddenly took off like a rocket, threatening to peak the meter.

Next step was to pull the radiator itself and check it for clogging, which took a bit of doing as the mounting bolts were quite rusted.  In fact, one of them was so badly rusted that it broke off as I was trying to get it off.  Wasn't able to remove it completely until the radiator was sitting horizontal on the driveway.

There are quite a few rusted bolts and clamps and things that will need replacing before it'll all go back together.

Meanwhile, I put the hose into the engine coolant inlet on the block and pressured it up, then cranked the engine to start and let it run for awhile, with the outlet flow going straight on the driveway once it was running clear.  Let it run for nearly ten minutes and the engine didn't heat up at all.  No gauge movement.  That was odd.

I had my hand down near the outflow to test the temperature, and it never even got warm.  Does that mean that the constant flow of cold water from the hose keeps the engine too cold?  Mayhaps tomorrow I'll have to put the radiator back on temporarily and see how it does.

But that's enough for this afternoon.  Tonight we have an 18th Birthday to celebrate!