Energetic Lethargy

It's Saturday afternoon, almost time for A Prairie Home Companion, and I've been working on the basement walls and putting off a trip to Home Depot. I hate having to run to the store in the middle of the afternoon because by the time I get back, the momentum is gone, and usually no more work is done anyway.

I'd rather be playing with my electronics, or working on my Linux server, or writing software, or anything anything anything but working on the house. I hate working on the house. I hate having a house that isn't finished. I hate looking at the basement walls and the basement ceiling and the vast, ugly unfinishedness of it. It feels like a huge millstone hanging around my neck, prodding me in the head every now and then to remind me that it is impossible to relax in my own house because It Isn't Done Yet.

I understand why they have to sell houses this way. No one can afford them otherwise. Perhaps we could've found an affordable older house that was already finished, but our last venture with a used house was far less than successful, definitely not to be repeated.

All I want is to sit in my house on a Saturday afternoon and not have to worry about all the things that have to be done on it. Cleaning is not a problem. Vacuuming is enjoyable (especially when listening to John Denver tunes). Even scrubbing the toilets is pleasant in comparison to the awful, horrible, headache-inducing thought of A House Unfinished.

And it isn't the work itself that bothers me. My dad made sure I didn't leave his house without understanding how to measure (and measure again) and saw and hammer and drill and put two boards together and build up walls and hang insulation and wire outlets and repair plumbing and do all those things that are required when you have a house - and I'll be forever grateful to him for that. Especially since I don't hit my thumb anymore. Actually, the work itself is very enjoyable - even calming, in a way.

But - for a perfectionist as myself, it takes much longer than it should. To paraphrase Orson Welles, "I will build no wall before its time." Edges must be straight. Angles must be right. Levels must be ... level. Which is one reason I don't hire out for the work (unless it's clearly beyond my skills, like concrete work). Or ask friends to come over and help me. I don't trust anyone else to do it right (except my Dad, of course).

And there is always the budget to consider. There is never enough money in the budget or time in the day to get done all that needs to be done. And when do you stop? I'm not good at deciding when to stop, especially when I could keep going 24/7 and still not finish.

I need to run to Home Depot or Lowes or Menards (the Michigan hardware store) and get some more of that solid foam insulation for the walls, but I'm just not in the mood right now. The walls are firmly connected to the joists and the floor, they're level, the outlet boxes are installed, and that's probably good enough for one day.

It will be so nice when it's all done.