Spring arrives with a special tingling sensation in the nose, followed by a burning in the sinuses and the throat, and is announced with the first True Sneeze. This is no ordinary dust-in-the-air kind of sneeze with its mere momentary lapse into uncontrollable expulsion of contaminants, nor is it the feverish, miserable slogging kind of sneeze which screams for the sweet oblivion of TheraFlu or NyQuil. It is instead the harbinger of an entire season of wretched drowsiness, interspersed with frantic bouts of brain-crushing, lung-etching internal muscular spasms which make the sufferer long for a quick and painless death.
The first True Sneeze of the Season occurred today, and its arrival was surprising given that my current rate of medication is adequate to quash most of the negative effects of cat ownership. But there was something different about the sneeze today. It reached far back into my throat and coursed like rough sandpaper up through my sinuses into my living brain tissue, and exploded out from my skull as though a million pores had suddenly opened at once. And it repeated itself over and over again until not a single intelligible thought was left inside.
Such is the course of natural events when the air outside warms to temperate levels, and all the elements in God's green Earth awaken to begin their cycle of rebirth. All the spores and seeds soar into the sky in a dramatic flurry of happy activity, and their little in-built radar directs them towards my nose - "Ah! A safe and happy home!" - where they congregate for the first party of the season; and amid all the gaiety and merriment, my over-active immune system decides to play Bad Cop / Bad Cop and throw the bums out.
So I reach into my Happy Pill drawer and down a few, hoping it will be enough to bribe those immunological zealots into docility so that it is possible to compose a clear thought; and I toss in a few ounces of carbonated caramelized caffeination to keep from falling asleep at my post; and I go downstairs where the air is cool and clear (of cat hair) and tap on the keyboard and wait patiently for the breathing to become smooth once again.
4 comments:
surely wish there were something to help with your allergies but I don't have any suggestions.
anxiously awaiting the coming days when we will be able to be with you when you are sneezing
There are many things which can be done to alleviate the inconvenience of an overactive immune system, but to date I've been too lazy or cheap to pursue them. My goal is to build a self-contained environmental clean room to which I can retreat when the spores and molds and pollen levels have risen to levels sufficient to inhibit my breathing. But only after the kids have moved out, because I don't want to miss any of the fun!
Allergens are cumulative. If you reduce where you can, it helps overall. One Dr likened it to a bucket-- each allergen adds a bit of water and all is manageable until there is so much input that the bucket overflows. When you are assaulted with cat dander indoors and Springtime pollen outdoors, you don't hasve a chance.
So lose the cats.
Yeah, I know-- "I grew up with cats-- how can I deprive my family of cats?" So you think your family would rather have cats and a miserable dad/husband than no cats and a dad/husband who is free of headaches and feels human? Surely you don't doubt their love that much.
You grew up with cats because we didn't know any better. I grew up with constant itching, sore throats, ear infections and hearing difficulty because nobody realized I had food allergies. Now that I know better, I only suffer when I choose to.
Peace, bro.
Jeanne
You assume incorrectly that the presence of cats in our house is in some way connected to or explained by my childhood experience of growing up with cats. They are not my cats, thus it is not for me to say whether they stay or go; my responsibilities extend only as far as they would toward someone who stays as a guest of one of the members of the family. I feed them, clean up after them, ensure that they remain healthy, and accept them with all their quirks, because of the love given them by those other members of the family.
Post a Comment