Goodbye, 2010!

It would be nice to look back on this past year and see many wonderful accomplishments, but nothing really comes to mind. Of course, it all depends upon your definition of "wonderful". Some days, just getting out of bed is a wonderful thing.

Going back through the year of posts, here's what I came up with.

January: The boys drywalled the closet. James had a concert. Deb had a birthday. James became a coffee addict.

February: The boys got new mattresses. Mary danced. Everyone worked on projects. Deb had a concert. Cheryl and I went to a Valentine's Day dinner. The family discovered Dutch Blitz.

March: The kids ate snacks. I got to help out with "Engineering Day" at the Middle School. James painted. I de-rusted the Corolla. James appeared on a Wanted poster (for unruly hair). Mary danced again. Adam drove to Muskegon. The bikes declared their freedom. The temperature went up to 74 degrees. Mary became Marie Curie for a class project.

April: We did some Spring Cleaning. It rained. The kids had Spring Break. Adam built a dice tower for his Heroscape gaming. James cut up cardboard. The girls played games. Then the kids got obsessed with chess for awhile. We drove to Frankenmuth. Adam got a Latin award. I made a big mess de-rusting my Subaru. Mary reprised Marie Curie. James showed off his luxurious hair.

May: We started prepping for Mary's graduation from Elementary School. We celebrated our Mothers. The boys went to see Iron Man 2 (and I reviewed it). The girls went nuts with braids. Mary got Hermione Hair. James had his 8th grade banquet. I did some wiring. James got the Director's Award in band, then had his luxurious hair trimmed. A spring storm came in. The kids practiced for the spring piano recital.

June: I went to the baseball game with Mary. She also had Field Day. Deb did her Capville project. Adam and Mary had their spring piano recital. I had a birthday. Mary had her hair cut. I built the Cataquarium. The sump pump failed and had to be replaced. We visited friends in South Bend. We visited the Dale Chihully glass sculptures at Meijer Gardens. The girls went to camp.

July: My cousin Mike got married, and we went down to see it. I did some CSI on the dead sump pump. James went on a a Middle School mission trip. I did a few home repairs (and we missed the family reunion due to lack of $$). James made apple pie. The Meyer grandparents dropped in for a visit. We went to an open house and saw tractors. Cheryl directed the family in some house painting.

August: We drove to Iowa to visit Sandra and see her new house. James found a Big Bug. The basement flooded on our Anniversary. The kids obsessed with a pirate ship game.

September: Mary got her glasses (and I got my straps). One of the living room chairs was "fixed". I built a mystery project. We lost power for a couple days. Mary built doll-sized tables. Cheryl continued with the house-painting project. I revealed the mystery project. James's basement room got a door. Mary had a birthday. Cheryl expanded the house-painting project.

October: Bill Snell went home to be with God. We hosted Super Start at church. The kids got to stay home from school one day because of a threat of high winds or tornado. Mary had her first choral concert.

November: James had his Fall Concert, then played for Santa Claus. Brother Kel had a birthday. We all took an on-line quiz. James had a birthday. We all talked about the books we'd read (or not read). We went to Aunt Susan's for Thanksgiving.

December: Cheryl showed her Pyro side. We went to a Christmas Madrigal. We started counting down the days to Christmas. Or was it the days til school was out? We took a trip to Seattle (and various other points of interest in the Pacific Northwest). We came back home safely, only slightly annoyed by TSA. We waited for the Ball to Drop.

All in all, not a bad year. The kids have grown quite a bit over the course of it. Quite a number of things have changed at work, at church, at home. We've all gotten a little bit older, hopefully a little bit wiser.

I'm hoping that a few things get better this year.

From Our Family to Yours

A Very Merry Christmas

and a Happy New Year

to One and All!

Saturday the Postman Saw Read

Saturday came and went, yet nothing came of it.

I was sick. Ill. Down-in-the-mouth. Drained. Drugged. Dopey. Didn't accomplish anything, but there was so much that needed to be accomplished.

Ever have one of those days?

Caught a nasty virus the other day. It didn't last long, but the deluge of immune-system overdrive was all focused on my pitiful lungs, so it was "cough" this and "cough" that and "cough" every thing in-between. Couldn't sleep. Couldn't think. And nothing would satisfy my craving for some kind of food or beverage which would dull the pain in my throat, not even the repetitious honey-lemon tea and cough drops.

Sunday morning came; it was time for church, and worship, and teaching, and singing, and there was no voice left in my throat for it, but the Audience of One understood my miserable croaking anyway. And the kids in my classes didn't care.

So long as this creeping crud is gone by Tuesday morning, I'll be fine.

Countdown to Christmas

We don't have our Christmas pictures done yet. We haven't started writing any Christmas cards yet. We haven't started packing for any trips yet. We're just waiting. And counting.

Has the holiday started yet?

We've had the Christmas concerts. James played his clarinet and his bass and had a wonderful time. I think. The girls missed theirs due to illness - or feigned illness (although the temperature probe displayed convincing evidence that there was some kind of immune-system action going on). Cheryl's been busily doing the Amazon thing. And I've been trying to finish up some things at work so I can avoid thinking about it for a couple weeks.

Good plan. Worked out until around noon today, when my work laptop suddenly lost the ability to connect to the work servers. Not sure what's going on with that. Probably a virus or rootkit or something noxious like that. The antivirus scanner didn't find anything. But even now, hours and hours later, the stupid thing won't connect to the network, so I can't do my usual work-from-home gig. Which means, even though I'm sniffling and coughing from my own little virus, I'll be going in to the office tomorrow to finish things up.

Yuck.

I've totally lost my enthusiasm for work lately. This end-of-the-year rush to finish things up - including the yearly performance reviews - stresses me out. It's all meaningless (shades of Ecclesiastes). Besides, I'd rather catch up on all the things around the house, including the dozen-or-so computer projects, the basement project, the garage project, and all the other little projects in-between. Oh, and then there are all those church-related projects.

Why can't they just send me a paycheck while I stay home and work on things that really matter?

One more day, and it'll all be over. Mostly. Except for the panic when we realize that nothing is ready for next week, and there's no time to get things ready. I feel so dis-organized. Actually, it's nothing but laziness. Laziness and procrastination. And stubbornness. With a little bit of confusion, distraction, frustration, and headache thrown in for good measure.

Saturday just can't come soon enough!

The Christmas Madrigal

Cheryl and I have been looking forward to "a night out" for quite some time. The typical December activities, both with church and school, have kept us busy enough that we struggle to find time to spend together, just ourselves.

The Great Lakes Christian College in Lansing puts on a Christmas Madrigal Dinner every year, and, having never attended one before, this year we decided to do just that. We were told that tickets would go quickly, so we purchased tickets about a month ago when they were first available.

Naturally, the weather was threatening to make our journey challenging; a big storm was forecast to come in during the evening. Just to be safe, we packed some bags with extra clothes and boots and heavy coats. (I always keep extra water and food in the car during the winter.)

It turned out that we didn't need to make use of the emergency supplies. The freezing weather held off long enough that we only met up with some cold rain on the way home.

But I'm getting ahead of myself.

The Christmas Madrigal Dinner was held in a very ornate old Methodist church right across the street from the State Capitol building. We were met at the door by a couple of Medieval guards who graciously held open the door for us. Then we waited in the lobby for a few minutes while the final preparations were being made, after which we were taken to our table by a very gracious hostess.

The interior of the church reminded me of a classic Italian villa, with an inner courtyard surrounded by balconied rooms. We sat at tables arranged in the inner "courtyard" (which is not really a courtyard as I understand the word, because it is not open to the sky overhead, but covered with a ceiling) and listened to the authentic flute/violin/harpsichord music which was being played live.

The Madrigal play was the story of a contest between the sons and daughters of the Court Jester to decide which one would replace him, as he was getting old and sick. The puns and word plays were flying pretty thick throughout. The Lords and Ladies of the court, who sat at a banquet table onstage overlooking the audience, interjected commentary on the performance of each of the Jester's children as they attempted to display their talents; additionally, in-between the Acts of the play, they sang very pretty choruses.

At specific times during the presentation, the Host would direct a specific course to be served - salad, main course, dessert - so that the dinner was incorporated naturally into the flow of the play. Then after the play was concluded (with a moral ending, of course!), the Lords and Ladies of the court performed a set of Christmas songs (including two that I'd sung back when I was in high school).

The food was very good; the company at our table was pleasant and friendly. After it was all done - it took about three hours for the entire madrigal - we ran into a few friends and visited them for awhile before leaving to see the big Christmas Tree out in front of the Capitol.

We hung outside for a few minutes, noticing that there wasn't any snow falling ... yet. But the snow was predicted closer to home, and we figured on running into it as we drove back. So we drove on home, expecting any moment to run into some kind of traffic mess.

It never materialized.

In fact, we got all the way home without any trouble at all! And the kids were (mostly) in bed, too!

Which was a good thing, because I was too exhausted to deal with them by the time we got home.

Fire Safety Demonstration (Nudge, Nudge, Say-No-More!)

Thanksgiving 2010

100 (+/-) Must-Read Books

This book-reading poll has been going around Facebook lately, and it intrigued me. Not that this particular list means anything; obviously, it was generated by someone with some bias (they evidently don't think much of cowboy books). But I thought it would be interesting to look through and find out how many of these books I'd actually read.

I threw in some extra ones that they accidentally left out, down near the bottom, so my list is a little longer than theirs.

1. Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen

Read this one after having married a woman with particularly good taste in literature. Didn't think I'd like it, and was surprised to find it a compelling book. Well-written, good drama, excellent characters.

2. The Lord of the Rings - JRR Tolkien

The ultimate fantasy epic, which everyone and their mother read back in the 70s (including, of course, yours truly). Best read while lying about in the bed with a bad cold. Which I did when I was a lad.

3. Jane Eyre - Charlotte Bronte

Oh, those Bronte sisters! This one took a while to get into, but then the pace increased until it all rolled up into a fiery ending.

4. Harry Potter and the {series} - JK Rowling

It's all Cheryl's fault. She got me started on this one. But JK and Stephen King have such unique writing styles that I find it difficult NOT to read anything they write. Fictionally, anyway.

5. To Kill a Mockingbird - Harper Lee

Read this for a school assignment a long, long time ago. This book was so remarkably easy to read, somewhat like the style of Scott Turow without all the bad language.

6. The Bible - various authors, one inspiration

For many people, this is read in short spurts on Sunday morning or during daily devotions, mostly covering the same ground again and again while leaving out the 'tedious' sections; but anyone who doesn't read the book all the way through is missing out on the epic story of humanity's struggle with sin and the hopeful conclusion which can only be realized at The End.

7a. Wuthering Heights - Emily Bronte
7b. Tenant of Wildfell Hill - Anne Bronte

Again with the Bronte sisters! Wuthering Heights was classic, albeit complex novel which would require several readings to comprehend fully. The Tenant of Wildfell Hill is not quite as complex, but very similar in some aspects. I may read that one some day.

8. Nineteen Eighty Four - George Orwell

Read as a class assignment, this one was dark and dreary and did not engage my imagination as much as many other science fiction novels. After the breakup of the Soviet Union, its impact seemed to fade. Until recent political events manifested themselves into a deepening distrust of our own government.

9. His Dark Materials - Philip Pullman

This is a trilogy comprising Northern Lights (also known as The Golden Compass, which was recently made into a movie), The Subtle Knife, and The Amber Spyglass. I have read none of the books; after seeing the trailer for the movie and reading reviews, I'm not likely to read them anytime soon.

10. Great Expectations - Charles Dickens

Read as a class assignment, this is one of those books which is clearly not served well by over-analyzation. It is evident that the author was paid by the word and not by the quality. There are certain scenes which impress upon the memory, but I really don't like the way Dickens works his little coincidental contrivances into the plot to wrap everything neatly together at the end. It breaks the momentum of reality.

11a. Little Women - Louisa May Alcott
11b. Little Men - Louisa May Alcott

Little Women was a college assignment, a 'quick read' for the purpose of contrasting it with another novel whose author and title escapes me. It was light-hearted, not nearly as heavy-handed as the Bronte works, so provided some relief from excessive density of thought. I particularly liked the fact that it was written about Americans in the Civil War time period.

12. Tess of the D’Urbervilles - Thomas Hardy

Back in High School, some of my friends had to read this novel and told me it was hopelessly depressing. Curiously piqued, I read the Cliff's notes and decided they were correct. It is not a novel that reads happily, nor ends happily.

13. Catch 22 - Joseph Heller

This was read for fun in High School, out of sheer curiosity after seeing a portion of the movie. I've always liked Alan Arkin; he does the sane-man-in-an-insane-world quite well. He captured the character of Yossarian perfectly.

14. Complete Works of Shakespeare - Francis Bacon

Ha! Just kidding. It was actually written by William Shakespeare. We think. I didn't read the Complete Works til I married Cheryl, but by then we'd already seen several of the plays (she's definitely been a maturing influence on me) and I found it quite enlightening to read through the words after seeing each play, because there was so much that didn't make any sense the first time. The copious editor's notes helped a great deal in understanding the idioms of the day, so I could actually understand the numerous jokes, puns and riddles.

15. Rebecca - Daphne Du Maurier

Nice twists and turns in this one. Good psychological thriller. Haven't see the 1940 movie yet, but ought to. Laurence Olivier, George Sanders, C. Aubrey Smith, Reginald Denny, Leo G. Carroll and, of course, Dame Judith Anderson.

16. The Hobbit - JRR Tolkien

I got this one along with The Lord of the Rings series when I was a kid, so naturally read this one first. A bit more light-hearted, funny, but not one that calls out for re-reading as much.

17. Birdsong - Sebastian Faulk

Hmmm. Never heard of it.

18. Catcher in the Rye - JD Salinger

Read this one for fun during college. Wasn't really impressed. Probably because it didn't fit my psychological profile at the time. I was just trying to survive Calculus class, not get an English degree.

19. The Time Traveler’s Wife - Audrey Niffenegger

Saw the movie trailer, but didn't find the plot very interesting. In fact, it sounded annoying. Might pick it up someday, but it'll probably give me a migraine.

20. Middlemarch - George Eliot

I had started reading this one during one summer between college sessions, having watched a documentary on George Eliot, but quickly lost interest. Can't remember why.

21. Gone With The Wind - Margaret Mitchell

As with War and Peace, this novel just had to be read. As with most tomes of this weight and length, it was in the Bathroom Collection for months before being completed sometime near the end of my New York assignment.

22. The Great Gatsby - F Scott Fitzgerald

This was assigned back in High School, I believe, but re-read it sometime in the last decade just to remind myself of the plot and characters because I had quite forgotten. That says something about the impact of the novel on my mind, which is to say, nil. Perhaps it has to do with the fact that I was not a young man in the 1920's and didn't experience the life of the hoity-toity on Long Island.

24. War and Peace - Leo Tolstoy

Golly, what a ponderous book. Started reading it years ago, then picked it up again about a year or two ago just as a stress-reliever. Also started watching the movie on YouTube. Interesting characters, but when all is said and done, it just reminds me of how war can be such a touch-and-go affair, and affairs can be a touch-and-go war. And how a sad ending can be stretched out for a thousand pages.

25. The Hitch Hiker’s Guide to the Galaxy - Douglas Adams

Read this one back in college when it was the 'in' thing to do (since we were also watching the television series on PBS). Hilarious. Read the other ones in the 'trilogy' when they came out, but none of them had quite the impact of the first. Actually, they became a bit wearisome. I wonder if the author started to run out of ideas. Still witty, I mean, but stale.

27a. Crime and Punishment - Fyodor Dostoyevsky
27b. The Karamozov Brothers - Fyodor Dostoyevsky

Started reading Crime and Punishment some twenty-odd years ago, but quickly lost interest. Same thing with Karamozov. Just didn't grip me.

28. Grapes of Wrath - John Steinbeck

Had to read this one for a college assignment. Again, it's got a mindset that harks back to a kind of people with whom I'm not familiar. My generation was (mostly) too spoiled to understand the hardships these people endured, so it doesn't resonate with us as it does with previous generations. Maybe someone will write a novel about the hardships of dialup some day.

29. Alice in Wonderland - Lewis Carroll

Everyone read this one in Junior High or High School, I think. Didn't they? Certainly we did, in those halcyon days of our youth when the most fun thing to do on a Saturday was riding bikes to the Library to pick up a pile of books to devour.

30. The Wind in the Willows - Kenneth Graham

This was one of those "read-while-sick-in-bed" books, so it captures a kind of meloncholy that doesn't exist anymore. The kind of English countryside meloncholy that came with 101 Dalmations (another fine book, by the way), tea and toast, family crests, punting down the river, and a fascination with all things mechanical and shiny.

31. Anna Karenina - Leo Tolstoy

Thought about this one, after seeing "The Shop Around the Corner", but Tolstoy's style is somewhat heavy for modern readers. It's on my bucket list.

32. David Copperfield - Charles Dickens

Another Junior High or High School assignment. I liked this one much better than "Great Expectations", but that's not a ringing endorsement. After all this time, I'd be hard-pressed to remember the plot without a little help from Wikipedia.

33. Chronicles of Narnia - CS Lewis

Never was much of a fan of these novels, although I'd read some of them when when younger. Wasn't enamored of the whole Narnia environment, nor impressed by the sometimes heavy-handed Churcho-of-England Christian worldview presented. Probably due to my own background in the Restoration movement, which preaches a back-to-the-Bible gospel without all the liturgical traditions. Plus I never was impressed by lions in comparison with some of the other animals. I always preferred The Jungle Book over this set.

34. Emma -Jane Austen

Read this one late in life, after watching the BBC adaptations. Trouble is, the heroine is not someone I'd care to hang out with, so it was difficult to feel a great deal of sympathy for her. Plus the fact that she's in love with a guy so much older. Fine for that day and age, but rather icky now that I have daughters of my own.

35. Persuasion - Jane Austen

Loved the BBC series, loved the book. Gripping drama, and anything with sea captains and loyal blood-brother types is OK with me. Oh, yeah, and there were some women in it, too. Anne really needed to stand up for herself a bit sooner.

36. The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe - CS Lewis
(This is one of the seven books in the Chronicles of Narnia)

[See comments on #33]

37. The Kite Runner - Khaled Hosseini

Saw this one coming out as a best-seller at the bookstores, thought I should take a look, but reading some previews, it sounded too icky (as in, really bad things happen to nice people).

38. Captain Corelli’s Mandolin - Louis De Bernieres

Had never heard of it til the movie came out. Thought about seeing it, since Nicholas Cage was in it, but never did. Read some reviews and they mostly panned it. Sounded depressing. Not on my must-read list.

39. Memoirs of a Geisha - Arthur Golden

Sounded mildly interesting, but never bothered to read it.

40. Winnie the Pooh - A.A. Milne

With four children, do you suppose I ever read this book? Actually, I'd read it long ago, before my brothers were even born. Then got a set of books for the kids, but they were (alas!) abridged. One day I'm going to re-read these classics to my grandchildren.

41. Animal Farm - George Orwell

Another Junior High or High School reading assignment, although I'd already read it back in 5th or 6th grade out of curiosity. Thought it was quite interesting at the time (this was in the 1970's) due to the background chatter of Soviet posturing and spy novels and 1984 and things like that, and it may have helped that we watched the animated version somewhere along the line, but its impact faded along with the Soviets.

42a. Angels & Demons - Dan Brown
42b. The Da Vinci Code - Dan Brown
42c. The Lost Symbol - Dan Brown

Like most people, I didn't hear about this set of books until the 2nd one, The Da Vinci Code, came out. Had to read that one out of curiosity, too, but never bothered to read the others. Wasn't really impressed by all the ridiculously complex levels of plottery going on. Like "National Treasure" on steroids. Read through it, enjoyed the act of reading it, but can't remember any of the details now. To me, that says a lot about a book (in a negative way).

43. One Hundred Years of Solitude - Gabriel Garcia Marquez

Wowsers. That Marquez guy writes in a style that is quite different than anything else I had encountered before, and there is such a denseness that it defies my ability to comprehend everything. It can only be understood with several readings. Unfortunately, it hurts my head to read, so that won't be happening. I wonder if it was the translation that caused the problems?

44. A Prayer for Owen Meaney - John Irving

Heard about this one, but other than "The World According to Garp", I never was much of a John Irving fan. Some of the plots get so convoluted that my feeble brain just gives up on 'em. I'd like to try "The Cider House Rules", but haven't gotten around to it yet.

45. The Woman in White - Wilkie Collins

Never heard of the book or the author.

46. Anne of Green Gables - LM Montgomery

I've seen the televised series so many times now, it has begun to overshadow the books. I read them after getting married, just to straighten out a few facts and get some extra details that had to be left out of the tv version. Sure takes you back to a different time and place.

47. Far From The Madding Crowd - Thomas Hardy

Never read the book, but browsed through the Cliff's Notes in High School. Like many, I misinterpreted the word 'madding' and thought it similar to 'maddening', which most crowds are. I've always wanted to get 'far from the maddening crowd'. But from the notes I recall, the characters in the novel were kinda maddening, and I wasn't convinced it would be a pleasant read. Then again, since Monty Python took the time in their sketches to make fun of Thomas Hardy, there's got to be something to it, eh?

48. The Handmaid’s Tale - Margaret Atwood

Saw it, thought it might be interesting, but never read it. Sounds kinda sci-fi with a bit of Mormonism thrown in.

49. Lord of the Flies - William Golding

High School assignment again. Read it. Was not really impressed, nor have I managed to remember any of the details, except that a group of boys left to themselves will find ways to kill themselves, given time and opportunity.

50. Atonement - Ian McEwan

Saw the trailer for the movie (with Keira Knightley). Interesting premise. But I usually try to avoid these confrontational films. And books.

51. Life of Pi - Yann Martel

Don't know anything about this one.

52. Dune - Frank Herbert

Everyone read "Dune" back in the 70's. Everyone who was into fantasy or sci-fi (or both). I found the book tedious and boring. Any questions?

(No, I didn't read the sequels.)

53. Cold Comfort Farm - Stella Gibbons

Don't know anything about this one, either.

54. Sense and Sensibility - Jane Austen

Read this one after being married, and after having watched the BBC series. Really liked it. Good characters. Good villains. Happy endings for all.

55. A Suitable Boy - Vikram Seth

Nope. Haven't hard about this one.

56. The Shadow of the Wind - Carlos Ruiz Zafon

Hmmm. Another one I haven't heard of.

57. A Tale Of Two Cities - Charles Dickens

Dickens again. Everyone read this one in High School, didn't they? Actually, I've read this one three or four times over the course of Junior High and High School, during my 'Musketeer' phase (after watching "The Three Musketeers" movie with Richard Chamberlain, Racquel Welch, et al). Loved the beginning, loved the ending, and thoroughly enjoyed everything in between. Also read "The Scarlet Pimpernel" at this time. Anyone read that one?

58. Brave New World - Aldous Huxley

There was this weird 1970s-era TV movie of this one that I remember parts of - you can find it on YouTube now - that got me interested in the book. I had thought it was something related to race relations, but instead it turned out to be sci-fi instead. Bleak ending, though, if I recall. Kinda 1984-like.

59. The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time - Mark Haddon

Dum-de-dum. Never heard of this one, either.

60. Love In The Time Of Cholera - Gabriel Garcia Marquez

Oh, my. Marquez again. More of the dense writing, more of the bizarre plot, lots of dreary death stuff.

61. Of Mice and Men - John Steinbeck

High School again. Short book, as I recall. Only took an afternoon or so to read. Another bleak kind of ending, with the death of big, dumb Lennie. Depressing but inevitable.

62. Lolita - Vladimir Nabokov

Everyone says they read this one, but I wonder how many really have. It was one of those 'racy' books that all boys thought contained lurid details of what sex was all about, back when none of us knew what was going on. I started reading it but quickly lost interest. Now I can't keep straight what I read in the book, and what I read in a movie review. It probably doesn't matter.

63. The Secret History - Donna Tartt

Never heard of this one.

64. The Lovely Bones - Alice Sebold

Heard of this one, as did everyone else who was paying attention. Thought about seeing the movie, thought about picking up the book for a long coast-to-coast flight. I generally like murder mysteries, even when they're done from this ghostly angle. But haven't done anything about it yet.

65. Count of Monte Cristo - Alexandre Dumas

Read it during the Musketeers phase. Then again when my son had to do a book report on it. Still didn't find it as compelling as The Three Musketeers.

66. On The Road - Jack Kerouac

Had to read this one because anyone who even ponders the idea of becoming a writer has to read this book. I wasn't impressed by it. Just not my style. But interesting.

67. Jude the Obscure - Thomas Hardy

Hardy, oh Hardy, how little we can put up with you. Started reading it, quickly lost interest. Just didn't have enough 'zing' to it. Or I was totally in the wrong mood.

68. Bridget Jones’s Diary - Helen Fielding

Absolutely could not read this one. Didn't hear about it til the movie came out, and by then my image of it was colored by movie reviews and trailers and impressions from other people. Didn't find the premise interesting at all. Not enough techno-babble.

69. Midnight’s Children - Salman Rushdie

Figured this one was a religio-political bombast, so never bothered to read it. Read "The Satanic Verses" back when it came out, just to be controversial, but didn't really get into that one, either.

70a. Moby Dick - Herman Melville
70b. Billy Bud - Herman Melville

Melville. Everyone reads a lot into Melville. I read these, but the style just didn't work for me.

71a. Oliver Twist - Charles Dickens
71b. Great Expectations - Charles Dickens
71c. The Pickwick Papers - Charles Dickens

Dickens, my favorite 'paid-by-the-word' 19th-century writer. Was forced to read his works in school, then picked up some on the side hoping that my impression of the author had been discolored by the fact that they were assignments. Other than "A Christmas Carol", though, the stories got to be tedious and a tad bit too neatly tied up at the end. I don't mind happy endings, but syrupy happy endings make me ill.

72a. Dracula - Bram Stoker
72b. Frankenstein - Mary Shelley

As a horror movie fan from WAY back (used to stay up and watch all the great horror movies that were on TV after midnight on Friday nights), these two classics were must-reads in Junior High. Both were quite different than the movie versions (which actually surprised me back then). Frankenstein was more memorable for some reason, perhaps because of the story-within-a-story that is told by The Creature. And the fact that one story dealt with the supernatural, and the other with the super-scientific.

73a. The Secret Garden - Frances Hodgson Burnett
73b. The Little Princess - Frances Hodgson Burnett

Read "The Little Princess" back in either Elementary or Junior High days - thought one of my sisters had brought it home from the Library, but I could be mistaken. I remember adoring the book, especially the part where the Indian sets up the feast in the attic for the girls. The Secret Garden wasn't nearly as memorable to me, but still quite good.

74. Notes From A Small Island - Bill Bryson

I read "A Walk in the Woods" a few years back and really enjoyed it. I'll probably get this one, too, especially since it deals with England. Cheryl and I are definitely going back to see more of England.

75. Ulysses - James Joyce

This is one of those novels that takes the patience of Job to get through. I read it out of sheer stubbornness. Every writer apparently has to read this bizarre book, if only to understand what sheer torture is about. I read many reviews and articles about this book as well, and they all identified its major flaw: it's too much work to read. I don't read to work; that's what programming is for. I read to relax, to learn, to enjoy. If a book is going to make me work, I expect to get paid for it. In cash.

76. The Inferno - Dante

Read this one out of curiosity over one winter a few years back. Interesting. But, again, not memorable. Must be a brain defect on my part. Everyone else seems to think it's the best thing since sliced bread.

77. Swallows and Amazons - Arthur Ransome

Nope, never heard of it. Heard of Arthur Ransome, though. He was one of those English literary types who were fascinated by the early Russian Revolution. Thought it was the greatest thing since sliced bread.

78. Germinal - Emile Zola

Haven't ever read "Germinal", but knew that Emile Zola was a key figure in the (in)famous Dreyfus affair. He was the one who publically accused the French Army leaders of complicity in the wrongful conviction of Captain Alfred Dreyfus.

79. Vanity Fair - William Makepeace Thackeray

Never got around to "Vanity Fair", but read several of his articles, and breezed through "The Luck of Barry Lyndon" back in college. Or was it high school? Can't remember anymore. I think this was during my first Mark Twain period when I was reading a lot of satirical works.

80. Possession - A.S. Byatt

Never heard of this author, or the book.

81. A Christmas Carol - Charles Dickens

The ultimate Dickens, the only story of his that I've read and watched numerous times and parodized almost as many, so much so that my wonderful wife got me a very nice collector version of the book for Christmas!

82. Cloud Atlas - David Mitchell

Never heard of this book, or Author.

83. The Color Purple - Alice Walker

Read this one back in Seattle while dating Cheryl. We'd seen the movie together - I think we saw it on video, not in an actual theater - and it piqued my interest enough to read the book. It was depressing.

84. The Remains of the Day - Kazuo Ishiguro

Saw the movie with Anthony Hopkins and Emma Thompson, so naturally had to read the book. It was incredibly sad, so many missed opportunities for happiness. But it also showed me that it was possible to live a happy life by being content with what you are given, and with the choices you have made, even if many of them were the wrong ones.

85. Madame Bovary - Gustave Flaubert

Someone had told me in my youth that this was one of those 'banned' books that contained a lot of smutty filth, so naturally I had to get hold of it. It was not what I expected. It was another of those depressing, how-low-can-you-go kinds of books where human depravity results from people's lack of ability to be content with what they have chosen. In this case, a woman, lusting after luxury and susceptible to boredom, destroys her life and those of the people she is supposed to be loving.

86. A Fine Balance - Rohinton Mistry

Never heard of this one.

87a. Charlotte’s Web - E.B. White
87b. The Elements of Style - E.B. White
87c. Stuart Little - E.B. White

Anything by E.B. White is guaranteed not only to be well-written, but enjoyable. I didn't get into Charlotte's Web as much as my sisters, but I thoroughly enjoyed Stuart Little ... except the fact that he never finished it. It could use ten or twenty additional chapters, making it an epic of the "Wind in the Willows" variety.

88. The Five People You Meet In Heaven - Mitch Albom

Haven't gotten around to reading this particular book, but did read "Tuesdays with Morrie" when the TV movie came out. I'd read articles from Mitch in Parade and other magazines, and knew that he played with the "Rock Bottom Remainders" (Dave Barry, Stephen King, Amy Tan, Scott Turow, et al).

89. Adventures of Sherlock Holmes - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle

Every boy is required to read the Sherlock Holmes stories. We had this Reader's Digest book when I was a kid, and it featured "The Adventure of the Speckled Band", which was my first experience with Mr. Holmes and Watson. I found a few anthologies in the elementary school library, but never finished the entire collection until much later. Got it for my own boys, too, but they didn't seem as impressed. Of course, they weren't enamored of Encyclopedia Brown, either.

90. The Faraway Tree Collection - Enid Blyton

Read some of the "Secret Seven" series from Mrs. Blyton, but don't remember this particular set. Might have to look it up.

91. Heart of Darkness - Joseph Conrad

I can't remember if I read this before or after seeing "Apocalypse Now", but they're now so wound up in my memory that it probably doesn't matter. The movie was a long and arduous trip through from sanity to deranged violence; the book was a long and tedious trip from one kind of darkness to another. It isn't a book I ever plan to re-read.

92. The Little Prince - Antoine De Saint-Exupery (in French)

I struggled through this book in the original French back when I was taking French class in High School. It wasn't an assignment; it was just something I decided to do in order to improve my understanding of the French language. I'm not sure if it worked or not. I also got the English translation and put them side-by-side. There were a lot of interesting differences.

93. The Wasp Factory - Iain Banks

I've read some articles by Iain Banks in the New Scientist, but haven't read any of his novels.

94. Watership Down - Richard Adams

Read this classic during my "Wind in the Willows" phase in Junior High or High School. Read "Mrs. Frisby and the Rats of NIMH" about the same time. Both were fascinating epics, but for some reason, I tired of the rabbits before the rats. Later, after reading some reviews of this book, I realized how much I'd missed of the theme and point of the novel, so re-read it -- but didn't enjoy it nearly as much the second time. Too many "messages" in this one. [Even later, reading interviews of Richard Adams, it was revealed that all those deep "meanings" were pure hogwash, written by self-promoting reviewers who didn't have the common sense to simply accept that it was a clever and well-written children's story which was written to amuse the author's children.]

95. A Confederacy of Dunces - John Kennedy Toole

Heard about this book but can't remember where or when. It was published posthumously (the author committed suicide), and it's about New Orleans. That's all I remember.

96. A Town Like Alice - Nevil Shut

Heard about a movie of this book, before I knew it was a book. Saw some clips. It's about a woman who settles in Australia after World War 2, having undergone some hardships. Sounds interesting. Might read it.

97. The Three Musketeers - Alexandre Dumas

Again, read this one during my swashbuckling days of youth. Fantastic novel. Tried reading the original French, like I did with The Little Prince, but it was difficult to find in the local library. I could probably find it now.

98. Hamlet - William Shakespeare

Part of the Collected Works, right? Been there, done that. And seen at least five filmed or staged versions.

99. Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - Roald Dahl

Read this one in Elementary school after seeing Willy Wonka on TV. The book was similar to the movie yet very different, chiefly in the bizarre characterization of Willy Wonka. Took quite a while to get the action going, and the bedridden grandparents was annoying. Also the bit where Charlie and his grandfather don't get the ticket, and then later Charlie gets it on his own. That was just a plain tease.

100a. Les Miserables - Victor Hugo
100b. The Hunchback of Notre Dame - Victor Hugo

These novels are just so depressing. Les Miserables is long and complex; Hunchback feels shorter but the action isn't quite as intense (at least, the action I remember). I read Les Miserables after seeing the Broadway musical. I read Hunchback in Junior High or High School after seeing the original Lon Chaney version on a Saturday afternoon cinema thing on TV, and the Charles Laughton version on a Friday night horror show.

BONUS SECTION

101. The Mouse and His Child - Russell and Lillian Hoban

This is, for me, the ultimate novel. I read and re-read and re-re-read this book as a child, and again as an adult, and never tire of reading it. For some reason, it 'clicks' in my head. Still not sure why.

102. Presumed Innocent - Scott Turow

Again, one of those books I am compelled to re-read every now and then. The style, the characters, the mystery - I'm not sure what it is that draws me, but it does.

103. The Shining - Stephen King

Jan and her friends got me started on Stephen King, and the 70s and 80s were my Addicted to King years. Read and collected everything he wrote. Then got married, and started having kids, and had to get rid of them. The pernicious use of bad language throughout was not something I wanted to explain to my children, and it was having a negative influence on my own tongue. Also, the themes were getting really weird, and that was having a negative effect on my psyche. I believe a really good writer finds ways to tell a story without degrading the reader's spirit. My spirit said, "Nevermore".

104. Huckleberry Finn - Mark Twain

I find it difficult to accept this list as authoritative without even one book by Twain; by far, he is one of the best writers in history. This particular book I can re-read over and over again. In fact, Twain is among the few writers I can re-read any time, any where, any work. I admire his wit, his sarcasm, his way of turning a phrase. And he has a way of putting real characters into my head that seem very real.

In Summary

I 'scored' somewhere in the 70s out of about a hundred books. That's probably not too bad, considering I dropped out of the reading scene due to overwork a few years ago, and now there are far too many projects in the house to find adequate time to read the really long novels (and keep the plots in my head). Maybe one day I'll catch up again. But I'd rather be writing than reading.

Additional Suggested Reading
Treasure Island - Robert Louis Stevenson
The Foundation Trilogy - Isaac Asimov
I, Robot - Isaac Asimov
The Martian Chronicles - Ray Bradbury
Bridge Over the River Kwai - Pierre Boulle (also wrote Planet of the Apes

A Very James Birthday

(If the embedded video doesn't work, click here to jump over to YouTube and watch it.)

Pre-Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving is still a day or so away. I'm trying to forget the fact that it is past midnight and thus Wednesday morning, because my brain still thinks it's Tuesday. I'm having difficulty figuring out a problem, and it's become more and more stressful over the past couple of weeks because the problem just won't go away, and it isn't one of those problems that can be dealt with by any direct action on my part, not really. I mean, there are things I can do to plan, to prepare to deal with it when it finally comes to a head - if it ever comes to a head - but even the best-laid plans of mice and men come to naught at day's end. Or something like that.

But I don't want to get into that right now. I'd rather talk about James's birthday.

Were you to ask James if he had a fun birthday, he might admit that there were some fun things that occurred. Certainly it was fun to make dinner for us all, which he did, and he did a fantastic job with the Chicken Bearnaise. I believe he had fun at Youth Group later in the evening, bringing along some delicious brownies to share with his friends. And he didn't seem overly depressed by the dearth of presents he received as we gathered around his birthday cake near the end of the day. (Teenaged boys can never really be satisfied with the presents they receive for their birthday, because no present in the world can measure up to the imagination and desire of a young boy on the cusp of adulthood.)

But there is a very deep significance in the fact that his birthday is so closely aligned with Thanksgiving. We are thankful that he survived his birth to live these many years with us, and to become such a blessing to us, because it was the very day of his birth which brought us closest to realizing how fragile life can be. His survival was not guaranteed by any means, and I still consider it a miracle that he lives and breathes and plays guitar and annoys his sister (he claims it's the other way around) and enjoys the company of many friends, because I saw his body when it was gray and seemingly lifeless, and stood beside the oxygen crib as they forced life back into it, and knew that it was possible that he might not make it.

Now fifteen years later, he smiles and looks out on the world and wonders what it has to offer him, and I think back to the days when I was just as young and just as eager to go out and see what was going on in the big, wide world, and envy him. And I try not to impose my point of view on him (too much) although all of you who are parents know exactly how hard it is not to want to scream out loud all the wisdom and knowledge and advice you think they need so they don't make the same mistakes you did, or miss out on the opportunities that you still kick yourself for missing out on.

And I think about how few are the years he will remain at our house, how soon he will be off on his own, and I wonder if he's been given enough examples to know how to live, if the lessons we've tried to bring to him have made it through to his heart, if he has any clue to the depth of the love we have for him ... and then I am reminded of my own father, and how utterly mysterious the man was to me for most of my teen years, how close we could be one moment, and utterly distant the other; and how incredibly shocking it was to be hugged by him on the day I left for college. And how I promised myself that I would never become so distant from my children that a simple hug could feel so odd and foreign, even in a family that never hugged.

But the reality is that at some point we stop forcing displays of affection on our children because we can sense their discomfort; we suddenly realize that they have become aware of their own personal space, and the boundary excludes even those who would give their very lives for them; it's just a thing that teenagers must navigate through until they decide what they will deem appropriate. And the best you can hope for is to someday be invited once again into the warm embrace of your cherished offspring, after they have finally figured out that you are just another traveller on the road to Heaven, charged by God with giving them the best years of your life so that they can repeat the whole process on another generation.

Questionnaire

Please answer the following questions, then make carbon copies. Send the yellow to Accounting, the pink to Human Resources, and the teal to your permanent folder.

And remember, this is for posterity. So, be honest. How do you feel?

1. Were you named after anyone?
It is my believe that I am named after my uncle, but it wasn't something that we talked a lot about as I was growing up. It just seemed to be an odd coincidence that my name was Robbie and my uncle's name was (and still is) Bob. Both names contain the "ob" letter sequence in the 2nd and 3rd letter positions, and the probability of that particular combination occurring in a randomly selected sample is statistically negligible, which infers some positive correlation coefficient. The odds are that my name was selected due a personal affinity between my father and his elder brother. Perhaps.

2. When was the last time you cried?
I cry every time the pollen concentration rises above a predetermined level, but that is completely an unconscious reaction and unconnected with any emotional experience through which I am undergoing. Certain passages in books or movies have been known to bring me to the point of 'choking up', but it cannot be said that true tears have escaped from my ducts in those intervals, mainly due to the fact that I'm a guy, and guys don't cry. Ever.

3. Do you like your handwriting?
I don't have handwriting anymore. I gave up handwriting after achieving proficiency in typing, and after converting the entire world to electronic communication single-handedly. My hand cramps up if I even think of writing anything by hand. I hire a professional calligrapher when it is necessary to send congratulatory cards.

4. What is your favorite lunch meat?
Those are two diametrically opposed concepts: "favorite" and "lunch meat". The first implies a pre-existing condition of sated desire; the second describes a food product which meets the definition of "food" by only the most generous of critical evaluations. It is illogical to desire an item which is not real food, therefore one cannot be said to favor it over other equally non-food items.
Besides, I always have leftovers for lunch.

5. Do you have kids.
Yes. Four. Why? Do you need one?

6. If you were another person, would you be friends with you?
Or, to put it another way: If you were not another person, would you be your own worst enemy?

7. Do you use sarcasm a lot?
Of course not. Don't you?

8. Do you still have your tonsils?
Is that really relevant? Yes, but my wife doesn't let me put the jar up on the mantel anymore. She says it scares the guests.

9. Would you bungee jump?
Given sufficient monetary inducement, and with the help of powerful narcotics, it could happen. Maybe.

10. What is your favorite cereal?
Owing to the fact that I must take analgesics along with my antihistamines first thing in the morning, cereal is not among my breakfast choices, as generally it is mixed with an amount of milk, and the aforementioned milk would seriously devaluate the impact of the analgesics on my system (due to the coating effect it has on the stomach lining). Therefore, this question is irrelevant.

11. Do you untie your shoes when you take them off?
If they can be removed without untying, it is generally my habit to do so; but it is equally important that they also may be placed on my feet afterward without requiring additional untying and then re-tying. For that reason, I maintain a pair of Dockers ("boat shoes") which may be slipped on and off without tying; a pair of athletic shoes which generally require tying; and a pair of black dress shoes ("wing-tips") which must always be tied. I minimize the number of times in which the black shoes are worn, and rely mostly on the Dockers due to their relative ease-of-use.

12. Do you think you are strong?
It is an ambiguous question. Does it refer to physical, spiritual, moral, ethical, or emotional aspects of my character? As regards physical, I am average for my size; my spiritual strength is difficult to measure with any scaled precision; morally, I can only say that I sleep well at night; ethically, there can be found no evidence to convict me in a court of law; and emotionally, I'm a middle-aged man with a lovely wife, four children on the brink of adulthood and two psychotic cats -- it's a miracle I'm able to get through the day without undergoing a complete nervous breakdown.

13. What is your favorite ice cream?
Do you mean to imply that there is a flavor other than vanilla? In point of fact, there is not. There is vanilla, and then there are all those additives that are used to (supposedly) enhance its flavor. As if one could possibly improve vanilla.

14. What is the first thing you notice about people?
It is my observation that most people are far too obsessed with their own point of view, and do not spend nearly enough time attempting to understand how they are viewed by others. Because of this, most people dress far too casually.

15. Red or pink?
Again, an ambiguous question. This could be interpreted in so many different ways, from simple color preference to appropriate beverage choice based on meal composition. It could also refer to the dichotomy between damaged tissue (blood red) and healthy (pink flesh). Given that I'm rather squeamish with regard to issues of blood, I'll have to go with pink.

16. What is the weather like outside?
Given that the question relates to a momentary atmospheric phenomenon with little relevance to the general non-linear data heretofore collected, this question has no merit and can therefore be safely ignored.

17. Who do you miss the most?
This question lacks a critical description of both context and circumstance. By its phrasing, it implies a singular choice among a set of emotional bonds, once strong but now weakened by physical, mental or emotional separation. Failure to identify the bounding constraints which would minimize the set, results in a broad-based interpretation, which can result in no other appropriate response than, "My sanity."

18. Do you want everyone to send this back to you?
Were "everyone", as an unbounded and ambiguous numerative description of the responding user set, to send a reply to the server, the collective flood of packets would result in destabilization of the network interface, including loss of process control, possibly resulting in collapse of the server itself. The answer, therefore, can only be "No."

19. What color of shoes are you wearing?
Again, a question with little overall relevance, other than to point out a single sample of my personal footwear choice corresponding to those instances where my main activity is centered on computer-related tasks. As it happens, my general habit is to wear simple cotton socks on my feet when working at home on the computer, with no shoes.

20. What was the last thing you ate?
I can only imagine that this question is somehow targeted towards determining my general dietary habits, hoping to occur upon a statistically significant moment when that diet has been uninterrupted by any special occasions which might merit a departure from consistent behavior. Unfortunately, at the time this question was reached, a birthday celebration had just been completed, and my portion consisted of a single slice of chocolate cake accompanied by two scoops of vanilla ice cream.

21. What are you listening to right now?
A little inner voice which is telling me that I should spend less time on Facebook questionnaires, and more time with my wife and children.

22. If you were a crayon, what color would you be?
Self-anthromorphization of my person into an inanimate object for the purpose of ascertaining individual color preference seems a bit extreme, if you ask me. Why not just ask me my favorite color? Besides which, I can never remember, nor would I ever care to remember, the bizarre and sometimes questionable couplings of adjectives used to describe the shades of color used in modern crayons. I hark back to my youth when the choices were simple and few: red, yellow, black, green, blue, purple, etc. My choice has been and will always remain "blue". Like the ocean.

23. Favorite smells.
Is that a question, or a statement? That particular noun-verb combination could be construed as a simple statement, were it not for the fact that it implies a connective thought between an ambiguous verb, "Favorite", and an action verb, "smells". It could also be interpreted as a grammatically incorrect question, the object of which is to reveal preferential olfactory experiences. As there is no unambiguous interpretation of the term "Favorite", it is probable that the second meaning is the intended one.
Therefore, the correct answer is, the scent of the evergreen trees in the forests of the Yosemite Valley. Or the hair of an infant. Or the smell of carrying an infant through the evergreen forests of the Yosemite Valley.

24. Who was the last person you talked to on the phone?
Owing to the dearth of telephone conversations in this house which require my input - it is not my first choice for communication, nor, having conversed with me over the telephone, would it be your choice for obtaining any significant information from me - there is little to be gained from inquiring into this particular aspect of my immediate history. However, just to keep things going, I will tell you that I had a great time chatting with the guy from the car repair place. It turns out that he is quite knowledgeable in areas unrelated to transportation, and has several interesting viewpoints on the current political situation. Plus he knows a lot of very colorful words which I could not find in the dictionary.

25. Do you like the person who sent this to you?
I'm married to the person who sent this to me. Draw your own conclusions.

26. Favorite sports to watch.
Again with the noun-verb phrases of indeterminate grammar. I'll assume that it is a question relating to a preference for observing contests involving a particular organized athletic club. Seriously? As if I have time to sit around watching other people, with whom I am not acquainted, playing games? And placing value on the outcome of those events as though I had a personal stake in the matter? The concept is bizarre in the extreme. It is not logical. But it is sometimes fun to see how goofy the people up in viewing stands can be, painting themselves with the team colors. Still reminds me of Roman "bread and circuses", however. Mollifying the masses with meaningless entertainment drivel while the borders are being assailed by barbarians.

27. Hair color?
Hmmm. Two nouns placed side-by-side in close proximity to a question mark. Fascinating, if still irregular. Assuming the intent is to determine the pigmentation of my hair follicles, the answer is - or was - simple. My hair has always been brown. Over the last five or six years, depletion of the melanin-producing melanocytes in many of the follicles has resulted in the generation of numerous gray ones; typically this is referred to as "salt and pepper" coloring. I attribute this phenomenon mostly to the stress and anxiety inherent in the raising of children, especially teenagers.

28. Eye color?
Intuitively leaping to the obvious conclusion, my eyes are described as "hazel", which is characterized by a preponderance of green coupled with a less proportionate amount of brown hue. Whereas the proportion of brown varies from day to day, sometimes my eyes appear green, and other days, greenish-brown.

29. Do you wear contacts?
Owing to a spate of eye infections related to the use of contacts during the early years of my optical enhancement, and on the advice of my physiciain, their use has been permanently discontinued.

30. Favorite food?
(Sigh. Grammar.) Until the advent of my beef-related digestive anomaly, lasagna was my primary choice. At this point in my life, I'll eat anything put in front of me. However, I have noticed cravings for mashed potatoes during certain times of the year...

31. Scary movies or happy endings?
Why not scary movies with happy endings? I suppose it depends on your point of view. If you are rooting for the scary monsters, an ending where all the monsters triumph is still a happy ending.

32. Last movie you watched?
"Hamlet", with David Tennant (Dr. Who) and Patrick Stewart (Captain Picard). Or was it "Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead" with Tim Roth, Richard Dreyfuss and Gary Oldman? They were watched in such close temporal proximity that I can't recall exactly. But who can forget that classic line: "Get thee to a nunnery!"

33. What color shirt are you wearing?
Of what particular significance is my choice of clothing at this moment in time? Perhaps this query would be better served as, "What preponderance of apparel choice is evident by a cursory examination of your closet?"
In point of fact, I generally wear black, gray, or blue. With occasional flashes of green. Whatever goes with my jeans.

34. Summer or winter?
Or, to put it another way: "Would you wish to be physically discomfited by seasonal rhinitis, or would you prefer a jolly round of influenza?" Either way, the requisite medications render me mentally unfit for cogitation, with the result that I am effectively removed from the list of contributing members of society during most of the year. I prefer a climate-controlled environmental chamber. With a Coke machine.

35. Hugs or kisses?
Kisses from my wife. Hugs from friends and family. Handshakes from acquaintances. Polite nods from strangers. Complete avoidance from the rest of society in general.

36. Car or truck?
Van. Chevy. Customized. Pre-1980.

37. Most likely to respond?
As I'm not intending to pass this along to anyone, there is no one who is likely to respond.

38. Least likely to respond.
President Obama. Or perhaps Osama. Either way, I'm counting on being ignored.

39. What book are you reading now?
If I were reading a book, I wouldn't be typing on the computer. I do not multi-task. Ask me again later, when I'm actually reading. I'll ignore you ... because I do not multi-task.

40. What is on your mouse pad.
It is presumptuous of you to assume I use a mouse pad at all. Have you never heard of touchpads or trackballs? The world doesn't follow a single path to Nirvana, you know. Expand your horizons.

41. What did you watch on TV last night?
Again with the presumption! It may interest you to know that I don't watch television. There is nothing on the broadcast channels worth watching. Nor do I have sufficient time in my life to waste any of it glued to the television screen. I'm too busy with my eyes glued to the laptop screen, writing answers to questionnaires on the Internet...

42. Favorite sound?
My favorite sound is the pop-and-fizz resulting from successful opening of my morning Coke. Caffeine, here we come!

43. Rolling Stones or Beatles?
The Beatles have a vastly more complex repertoire compressed into an unbelievably short career stretch. The Rolling Stones play the same basic type of material over and over again, but they have managed to survive for over forty years. My respect for both bands is immeasurable, but when given the choice, I always prefer the Beatles due to their superior craftsmanship.

44. Where do you want to go next?
Given the choice, I would prefer to go back to bed, but knowing that this would result in a serious depletion in both the quantity and stability of my income, I will forego that selection. Were income not involved, I would immediately relocate to the Yosemite Valley.

45. Do you have a special talent?
I have many special talents, among which are: putting my foot in my mouth, talking too much, forgetting people's names (including my own children), building prototypes which don't work, driving badly, and getting wounded every time I use a tool. Any tool. Would you like to see pictures?

46. Where were you born?
To paraphrase the Bunny (Bugs), I don't remember, I was awfully young then.
[NOTE: It probably isn't a good idea to reveal your name and age and place of birth on the Internet. Just sayin.]

47. Whose answer are you looking forward to getting back?
As I'm not planning on sending this out, the question is irrelevant.

==
BONUS QUESTIONS
==

48. If God were watching over your shoulder, what advice would he give you?
Get off the computer and get to work.

49. If you could go back in time and make one thing right, what would it be?
Adam and Eve. "Hey, kids, just because the snake is talking doesn't mean you should listen to him! He's a snake, for crying out loud!"

50. How many minutes did it take you to finish this questionnaire?
Too many.

Brother Kel

Having brothers was one of the best things that ever happened to me. Not to say that sisters are a bad thing - like everything else, they have their good side and their bad side - but there is nothing in the world like having a brother to play with, pick fights with, get rough-and-tumble with, avoid embarrassing hugs with.

Brother Craig was a bit of a surprise, coming along after fifteen years of being the only boy in a house full of girls. But we adjusted. Indeed, we found ourselves having quite a bit of fun with a new baby in the house. But we all knew that it would be cruel and inhumane to subject this 'miracle' child to a life of loneliness, so we petitioned our parents to have at least one more to provide him with company. In a spirit of true love and compassion, they acquiesced, and thus our brother, Kel, was brought into the world.

The first thing that struck us, after sufficient time had elapsed, was that the two brothers were remarkably different. Nature or nurture, we're not sure which had the most influence, but their dispositions and physical characteristics were sufficiently opposed that we would never have difficulty telling them apart. One was slight of frame, agile like a monkey and sly of mind, always looking for ways to get around the rules, extend the boundaries, probe the deep and dark mysteries of the universe (mostly up in trees); the other was built strong like a farmboy, with the kind of happy-go-lucky, salt-of-the-earth attitude that housed a deep well of generosity and a bottomless pit of patience (and he would need every bit of it!). They made a great team. Although they had their moments of tension, anger and boiling-over insanity, they always knew they had each other, and they took care of each other. Mostly.

Like any older brother, Craig occasionally took advantage of his position to try to enforce his will upon his younger sibling. We told him this could backfire; by all the evidence, it appeared that the future held great things in store for Kel, including stature. We warned Craig to be nice to his little brother, because one day, his little brother would be his Big Brother (and if it happened before frontal lobe development caught up with the rest of him, someone might get flattened!). Although I'm not sure if that warning really got through, it is evident that they both survived adolescence, so something must've gone right.

I had grown up and moved on before they were very old, and one of my biggest regrets is not spending more time with them when they were little. I had always imagined that they would remain my little brothers, both in size and age, but they didn't. They grew up, enduring some pretty rough life lessons; and then we were separated for so long by distance and circumstance that, when we did get together, it was like meeting them for the first time all over again.

Especially Kel. There's something about the physical changes in a person that cause some kind of reset in my brain regarding that relationship. I remember Kel's early days like they were yesterday, when he was half as tall and not nearly as sure of himself as he is now. Now he is a good-sized young man with a deep voice, a fuzzy face, many more skills and experiences under his belt; and every time we meet, I'm amazed that he is my brother, with the kind of amazement that comes from looking at someone I thought I knew, but then realizing that everything I know is obsolete, ancient, out-of-date; he has grown up into someone far more interesting and mysterious than the little boy I once knew, and I want to know even more, to sit at his feet and hear the stories of the things he has seen and done, to try and understand what has made him the man he is today.

Maybe one day, he'll write a book, or compose an album of songs, or make a movie that will help me to know the man behind all those memories. I'm hoping that he will find his muse, his passion, his True Voice, and we'll all be able to enjoy his Story. And that God will bless him with a truly marvelous Rest-of-the-Story for the coming years.

Happy Birthday, Brother Kel!

Santa Claus Has Arrived!

It's a little ridiculous, considering we're still two weeks out til Thanksgiving, but Santa Claus has arrived in Grand Rapids.

How do I know? Because my son, James, and his pals in the Jazz Band played a bunch of jazzy Christmas songs at the Mall when he came cruising in. (I wasn't aware that Santa had a red Lexus convertible, but he does!)

For all the time we've been in this city, we've never bothered to go down to the Mall to see Santa come in to begin his stint in the "Sit On Santa's Lap" exhibit. Our kids were never taught that there was a magical Santa Claus who brought toys at Christmastime -- there were too many logical inconsistencies with that story, regardless of what the Christmas specials say -- so there was really no point, other than to walk past and marvel at the patience required to put up with all those little kids and their innocently selfish desires.

Actually, over the past few years, we haven't bothered to go to the Mall much at all. We're not into crowds. We don't like cruising through parking lots looking for open slots. And there are other stores nearer to the house which offer better deals on the merchandise.

But, for the sake of our son and his Jazz Band, we'll go see Santa. We'll even walk through the Mall as the band marches and plays their escorting tunes for dear Kris Kringle. And we might even stop by the jewelry store to have Cheryl's rings cleaned.

But as soon as possible, we're out of there and heading home.

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What Is It?

I've started yet another crazy wood project. It's a bit bigger than the other one, in the vertical sense, so that might make it's purpose more evident.

What do you think it is?

Fall Concert

Last night was the Fall Concert for the Jazz Ensembles (1 & 2), Orchestras (ABC, Concert, Symphony), and Band (as in Marching). They played some great songs, some of which were very technically challenging. James was able to play both bass and clarinet. We sat with people we knew, and saw lots of people we knew (which is still kind of a novelty to me). The Band Boosters provided free cookies.

What more could you want?

Mary's First Choral Concert

Mary giving me "that look" as I try to take her picture in the auditorium while she's waiting to go onstage.
Mary onstage with her fellow choralers.
Mary by the fireplace, posing. Can you tell?
Mary on the couch. Posing again.

Wind-Blown Tuesday

If you don't hear from us for a while, it's because the wind has blown us away.

We heard that a windstorm was blowing in from the west, with winds between 40 and 70 miles per hour. This morning, for the first time in my memory, the schools were closed because of the threat of high winds.

James had already gone to school at 6:10 am for Jazz Band, but he called around 6:30 and said that school had been cancelled. So I ran out to pick him up. When we got home, the Tornado Watch was in effect.

So all the kids are home today, waiting for the storm to hit. Cheryl's Bible studies were cancelled, too, so she's home. And it's possible the power will go out as well.

What fun! I suppose that means I'll be the only one away from the house today.

Sunday in the Park with Migraine

The day began with a twinge in my head, one of those little twinges that threatens to build up over time into a great, big twingy kind of pain in the middle of the head that just won't stop until you find yourself lying in a dark room.

But there was no time for dark rooms. It was Sunday, and Sunday means worship, and Junior Church, and lots of loud, energetic children in need of spiritual guidance.

As is my custom, I arose early (woke up at 5:30, but didn't crawl out of bed til nearly 6). Put the cat out, cleaned the bathroom of cat stuff, fed cats, fixed coffee, read the two important portions of the newspaper (comics and Parade; all the rest is fluff). Went downstairs and put together my Order of Worship for Open Skies (which is the 2nd service version of Junior Worship). Looked over my lesson plans for the first service class, and the second service class.

The girls woke up around 8, so I fixed them some yummy oatmeal for breakfast. They are my assistants during set-up time, so it is vitally important that they receive proper nutrition.

Left the house promptly at 8:30. Arrived at the building promptly at 8:35 -- I thoroughly enjoy living this close to church! -- and started setting up. Got the upstairs room prepped in about half an hour while the girls prepped the downstairs room. Had enough time to chat with a few folks as they were coming in.

First service Sunday School for the 4 yrs-thru-4th grade starts promptly at 9:45 (although kids appear anywhere from 9:30 up to about and 10:00 am). We had several tables set up with activities varying from puzzles to coloring pages to dominoes. The kids played until 10, and then we started class by watching the 2nd part of 4th DVD in the "What's in the Bible" series from Phil Vischer. (We'd started part 1 last week.) Had an interesting discussion of why there were Judges in the Bible, and what they did.

After Sunday School, we took the kids up to Open Skies, which is the second service Junior Worship time. There was a guest worship leader in the main auditorium, so we took the kids in there for the first few songs, then went back to our classroom right before Offering (since we do our own version of that). Then Miss Kourtney did the lesson for the 7, 8 & 9 year olds while I took the 4, 5 & 6 year olds downstairs. (We keep those kids a-movin'!)

When our lesson was done, we took the little kids back up to Open Skies to be picked up by their parents. Then it was time to clean up, which involves putting away all the things we'd set up prior to the beginning of Sunday School. There was a great deal of stuff to put back in place, especially since we'd put away some things for Super Start on Saturday that still weren't were they were supposed to be for Monday. Took about an hour or so.

I didn't get home til nearly 2 pm, then it was time to grab a quick lunch before heading out again to install a replacement window in the old Toyota (long story, maybe later). Returned home around 5, which gave me just enough time to eat a quick supper before heading out again to take the boys to High School Youth Group, and to our "Five Love Languages of Teenagers" class. That was from 6 pm to 8:30 pm.

Then it was time for our weekly Family Meeting, where we discussed (1) all the things on the calendar for the week; and (2) the Love Languages for each of the family members. Everyone was reminded that the purpose of knowing our Love Languages is not only so that others know how to love us, but so that we know how to love others.

This seems to be an especially hard concept for teenagers.

After all that, it was time to set up the cat's room for the evening, make the coffee, do the usual night-time tooth-brushing and face-shaving, and head to bed.

So that tomorrow, we can start all over again.

Only tomorrow, maybe I won't have to do it with a headache all day, like I did today.

SuperStart weekend

Just finished Super Start. That's the 4th, 5th and 6th grader's CIY (Christ in Youth) fall "event". It was fun, and exhausting. Can I go to bed now?

mister bill

The events and thoughts of the last week or so are whirling around in my brain, unresolved, and I'm not certain that there is anything to be gained from putting them out for public view other than to prove that the website is still active, but there is a cathartic effect on my mind, so perhaps that is sufficient justification.

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Bill Snell died suddenly on October 9th, my parents' 51st anniversary. It was an odd coincidental turn of events. Perhaps God in his infinite wisdom is trying to say something by this, but if that is the case, the meaning is beyond me. Bill was Dad's best friend for so many years; was this in some way a gift to Bill on the occasion of his friend's anniversary, to be relieved of earthly cares, brought home at last to hear those words, "Well done, thou good and faithful servant; enter into the rest of thy Master"? I would like to think so.

We will all miss Mister Bill, but I'm sure he would want us to keep everything in perspective. This was his destiny. This was his reward for a lifetime of hard ork. This is what his whole life was leading up to, leaving this world prepared for the next.

He was ready. And he wanted to make sure that the rest of the people in the world were ready as well. His was a vast and all-encompassing ambition. But this ambition was completely unselfish; his confidence was unshakeable; his friendship and eternal good-naturedness were inspiring; his loyalties were unwavering; his ability to share joy in his music and teaching were truly a gift from God.

I have many, many happy memories of Bill, not the least of which are those times spent listening to him play his banjo or watching as he and my father worked on Volkswagens together. But there are a couple that stand out in my mind.

The first occurred on one of our neighborhood door-knockings, when we went out to the houses around the Hermitage Road church to invite them to attend an event - I don't recall the details, whether it was VBS or a workshop or a prayer meeting or some other evangelistic effort. But I do recall that we were paired up to go out and knock on doors, and my partner happened to be Bill.

This is going to be easy, I thought. Bill will do all the talking, and I'll just stand beside him and smile, and not have to say anything at all. Because it would be crazy to imagine that, of the two people coming to someone's door, the little (and I do mean little) kid would do the talking and the extremely tall (he was a giant in my eyes), very intimidating adult would stay silent.

So of course you know what happened.

Bill and I walked up to the front door, and just as we got to the porch, Bill nudged me forward and indicated that I was to take the lead role in this enterprise. Needless to say, I was shocked. But he just smiled and nodded at me; and I, in absolute terror for my life, knocked on the door and then stood there as the people came to see what was going on, looking at me as though I were strangely diseased, while he stood slightly behind me with a friendly grin on his face. And I blabbered and stumbled and turned a few shades of red - but I got through it. And he was right behind me to say, "Good job!"

I didn't realize it at the time, but he was doing me a great favor by letting me do the talking. He already knew how to talk to people, and he also knew that he could be somewhat intimidating due to his nature and his size, so there was really nothing to be gained by doing all the work himself. It was I who needed the practice in the social skills, I who needed to learn how to handle these situations, and he wasn't going to let this teaching opportunity pass by. After each house, he would encourage me with words of praise for my efforts, and perhaps point out a thing or two I could improve upon. By the end of that neighborhood walkabout, I felt vastly more confident in approaching strangers and telling them about God.

The second memory is not so much a single event as a multitude of events all smooshed together in my mind, but centering on the same theme. See, Dad and Bill were always working on their Volkswagens. They are great little cars to practice basic auto mechanics on, especially for people who don't have a lot of time or fancy equipment. We'd go over to Bill's house to work on his cars, and Bill would come over to our house to work on Dad's. And the country music would be playing on the radio (I particularly remember hearing Elvis on a few occasions, so you can probably guess the decade). And Bill and Dad would be talking about something mechanical. And there would be a slight difference of opinion on some particular mechanical detail of the engine or the framework. And Bill would declare that something was this, and Dad would say, no, it's that; and Bill would get adamant about it, although he never raised his voice, and Dad would counter that, no, I really think it's this; and then they'd consult a manual or they'd tear into the part to verify it. And whenever it turned out that Bill was wrong, he'd just turn to Dad and say, "Well, of course it is!" (or something like that), and they'd laugh together, and go on fixing the car.

Bill was so incredibly humble about that, never ashamed to admit when he was wrong, always ready to learn something new, always ready to laugh at his mistakes. A true man of humility.

If there was ever any pride in him, other than the natural pride in his wife and children - and that went along with his infinite loyalty to family - it was the pride that a servant takes in his Master. He loved serving God. He extolled the virtues of God, and seemed to take infinite joy in the Word of God. He placed his trust and confidence in the Scriptures, studying them til he could quote them forwards and backwards, giving him the ability to speak with unshakeable confidence to the world as he tried to inspire them to follow God as he did.

He will be sorely missed for awhile, but it is our hope and confidence that we will see him again, and maybe this time God will grant me the ability to play my guitar well enough to keep up with Bill's banjo-playing, and we'll be able to make some great music together.

Chair Rail & Stencils

It's the thing to do when the grandparents arrive: work on some house project. This week it's the chair rail and the stencils in the formal dining room. Cheryl's been looking forward to this 'upgrade' for a long time. Really adds some character to the room. She already spent a week or so getting the room painted, now she's up on a ladder stenciling the ceiling while her dad measures, cuts and installs the chair railing.
It really makes the room like nice. Ready for another formal dinner. Which we haven't had in a long time, probably since Seder. It's been used as a craft room ever since then, which means it's been jammed up with scrapbooking stuff and painting odds and ends. Now it's looking nice.
I like the stencils. Adds some nice flavor to the room.
Even looks nice with those red curtains.
How she managed to do it while standing on a relatively short ladder, is beyond me.

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Mary's Birthday!
Mary had a nice birthday, although she would rather have opened the presents earlier this morning instead of waiting until after dinner. But we didn't have all of them wrapped this morning, and we wanted her to focus on her schoolwork during the day rather than the gifts. Not sure if it worked. But she enjoyed the cards, the cash, and the gifts.

How is it possible for her to be so old now?

Basement Door

Inspired by all the fun I was having building platforms at the church, and wondering if perhaps one of the boys might want to migrate to the basement during the grandparents' visit this week, I decided to have a little more fun and devise a method for putting a door in the basement room which will one day be James's primary residence.

Not having a real bedroom door lying about unused, I opted to 'borrow' one of the closet doors which has been leaning up against the basement wall for the past year or so, unused because the girls didn't like it. The only difficulty with using this type of bi-fold door is, of course, it requires a track to run on, and the existing metal track from the girls' closet framework is the width of two doors; so instead, I opted to make my own.

Besides, it's more fun to learn a new woodworking technique (or, in my case, make one up).

First, of course, it was necessary to build the header for the doorway since there wasn't one yet. That was rather simple, just putting together a rectangle from 2x4 material and screwing it in place above the doorway.

Sizing the doorway width-wise, it was found that an extra 2x4 was required along one side. Easy. Cut to size and screw in place.

Creating a baseplate for the pivot point on the bottom of the door was supposed to be easy as well, but instead of using a cross-grained (horizontally speaking) piece, I just grabbed a scrap piece from the bucket and used it. Unfortunately, it was vertically-grained, which meant that screwing it down to the floor cracked it. Oh, well, two of the corners held, and it was just a test anyway, so I left it in place.

The top plate was a bit more involved since it would go the length of the top of the door; it needed one pivot point and a slot for the slider. The pivot point was easy: just a 1/4-inch-deep, 1-4-inch-wide hole. The slot was more difficult since it had to start 1-1/2 inches from the pivot point and continue on to the other end. But I eventually figured out to drill another 1/4-inch hole at the starting point and then use the table saw to cut the slot from that point forward. For a prototype, it's not too bad.

At least it will allow James to go into his room and close the door and get the sense of what it will be like to live down there. I'll probably put one of the air mattresses in there tonight to get a better idea of how much room is left with a bed in place. And see if one of the boys wants to try it out for a night.

There's still lots of work to do. The drywall isn't up yet, the ceiling isn't done, the ventilation needs a new plan, we haven't decided on the type of flooring to use (wood laminate versus carpet). And I still need to put up the closet door framing.

But it's progress.