Middle of January, and my head is still hurting, hurting like a vise wrapped around my brain. The meds are kicking in and it's like drowning slowly in syrup, sweet, sticky syrup. Does that ever happen to you? Middle of January and the temperature is hovering around fifteen degrees and the air is so dry that it hurts to breathe, you can see your breath inside the house sometimes as you create little clouds and then they disappear as the last remaining bits of moisture are sucked into the air vents and routed through the furnace and reduced to smoldering ash.
It's fine, it's OK, that's the way things go here in slap-happy Michigan. We've gotten used to the chill, the ice on the roads, the driveway that never seems to get cleared, the air that cuts right through your lungs, the endless layers of clothes that have to be put on, one at a time, before heading outside to find out that the car doors are frozen shut.
Handy Tip #1: Keep a can of PB Blaster (or the equivalent) near the front door so you can spray it into the locks on those days where the Snow Wizard is particularly nasty.
The only thing nice about days like this, is that the snow is not falling. When the snow does fall on days like these, it's like driving through a sandstorm. Low visibility, wind whipping the white powder around like miniature tornadoes, masking the people who are crazy enough to try walking in it on their way to the store or their work or even their mailbox.
Did you know that those cheap plastic mailboxes get frozen shut, too? And that if you hit them with a hammer to knock them open, they will instead shatter into a million pieces?
That's why it is important to use metal mailboxes, strong stainless-steel monstrosities that can withstand the blows of impatient homeowners -- and the blows of impatient snowplows.
No, this is not a lesson I learned through experience, only by observation. I am not silly enough to beat on a defenseless mailbox. But I have seen a number of them shattered and twisted, lying on the side of the street like so much roadkill.
Winter can be so brutal.
So can Time.
I've been listening to David Bowie songs over and over again for the past few months. Nostalgia? Obsession? Depression? Not sure which. Maybe All of the Above. But it makes me feel better. His music speaks to me. (And thanks to my old high-school buddy Will Schermerhorn for getting me hooked on Bowie and Steeley Dan.) And we lost him just a year ago.
Time is a killer.
Time is depressing.
I wish I had the Time to tell you how bad Time can be. But I don't. There is too much to do around here.
Maybe next Time.
It's fine, it's OK, that's the way things go here in slap-happy Michigan. We've gotten used to the chill, the ice on the roads, the driveway that never seems to get cleared, the air that cuts right through your lungs, the endless layers of clothes that have to be put on, one at a time, before heading outside to find out that the car doors are frozen shut.
Handy Tip #1: Keep a can of PB Blaster (or the equivalent) near the front door so you can spray it into the locks on those days where the Snow Wizard is particularly nasty.
The only thing nice about days like this, is that the snow is not falling. When the snow does fall on days like these, it's like driving through a sandstorm. Low visibility, wind whipping the white powder around like miniature tornadoes, masking the people who are crazy enough to try walking in it on their way to the store or their work or even their mailbox.
Did you know that those cheap plastic mailboxes get frozen shut, too? And that if you hit them with a hammer to knock them open, they will instead shatter into a million pieces?
That's why it is important to use metal mailboxes, strong stainless-steel monstrosities that can withstand the blows of impatient homeowners -- and the blows of impatient snowplows.
No, this is not a lesson I learned through experience, only by observation. I am not silly enough to beat on a defenseless mailbox. But I have seen a number of them shattered and twisted, lying on the side of the street like so much roadkill.
Winter can be so brutal.
So can Time.
I've been listening to David Bowie songs over and over again for the past few months. Nostalgia? Obsession? Depression? Not sure which. Maybe All of the Above. But it makes me feel better. His music speaks to me. (And thanks to my old high-school buddy Will Schermerhorn for getting me hooked on Bowie and Steeley Dan.) And we lost him just a year ago.
Time is a killer.
Time is depressing.
I wish I had the Time to tell you how bad Time can be. But I don't. There is too much to do around here.
Maybe next Time.
4 comments:
I remember will Schermerhorn. Is this our Will Schermerhorn? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k-eHKKEUFRI
Yes, that is our Will Schermerhorn. I visited him and his family out in Northern Virginia ten years ago (on a business trip) and he had just left his job at AOL where he apparently did very well, and was working with Special Olympics, as his son Mason is a Downs Syndrome-affected child. Lovely family. He used to be on FB a lot, but has since faded off no doubt due to his many more meaningful activities.
Oh, and that snow thing. Ew. We've had some lovely snow in the area lately, but it's up on the mountains where it belongs. Pretty, but not a hazard except for those who seek it out.
All we get around here is excitable newscasters who fill us with the fear and dread of the forecast, promising we're going to iced in and without power for days. So Walmart runs out of lamp oil because everybody and their mother are taking it off the shelves so they can run their kerosene lanterns when the lights go out. Walmart apparently stocked up since the icemageddon that wasn't because there were at least two end caps with five shelves stocked full of the liquid light the last time we were there. We get wind, though, and lots of it. [Our neighbor rescued our catio (pvc pipe construct intended to house cats outside before we discovered how impractical the whole idea was at our rental) over Christmas break because the wind nearly blew it out of the yard.]
I love snow, but only if I don't have to drive out in it. Especially the first snow. Big learning curve. Lots of wrecks while people figure out they have to slow down because even four wheel drive vehicles can't stop on slick roads.
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