May 2024
I wasn't able to solve the problem. The project was canceled. I look like -- and feel like -- an idiot.
And now I'm unemployed again.
I'm not sure how much worse this can get. No income, still trying to make up for three-and-a-half months of unemployment, my reputation in tatters, a huge queue of incomplete projects around the house ... I'm feeling pretty low.
Not sure what to do.
2 comments:
That sucks. It is frustrating to try and fix something that refuses to be fixed. It sounds like you were the lone guy charged with fixing it? That would be miserable. Even working with a team and meeting with failure can be incredibly disheartening.
The good news is, the thing you were really put here for-- loving people-- is something you shine at. I don't know of anyone who has ever known you and felt like you couldn't love them.
Days like this are why God made dogs. But you have something even better-- a grandkid. :-D May she fill your heart with joy.
The job was an opportunity to learn something technical I'd been wanting to learn for a long time. I was enjoying the first couple of weeks immensely. And then I ran into a roadblock and needed some technical help beyond what Google was able to provide, so I asked for assistance -- an expert who could help me make progress quickly. Instead of providing me with the expertise I had requested, they provided me with someone who kept asking me, "What did you do THAT for? That makes no sense!"
So I kept flailing, hoping, praying, trying everything to resolve the numerous issues. Slowly making progress. Literally -- I was solving one little problem per day, in a sequence of what felt like a million problems. But the customer was expecting a complete system rewrite in 3 months and it was obvious that I wasn't going to make it. They made the right choice, I learned a lot of technical stuff, but the stress level every day was incredible. It was an incredible relief to be done with it, even though it felt like falling off a cliff.
Cheryl was my cheerleader the whole time, my advocate, my rock. And Emmy was my joy.
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