Home Again, Home Again, Jiggity Jog

The panic started about nine o'clock this morning, with an impromptu meeting at my cube. Several members of the Qual team suddenly appeared, their faces adorned with what can only be termed as 'concerned' looks.

"Is there anything we can do?" they asked earnestly.

I resisted the urge to tell them to go away, which was the best thing they could have done. But their concern was genuine and heartfelt and overriding, and completely trumping any intelligent thoughts that might have been going through their heads.

"No, no, I've got it all under control," I lied. Please go away, I intoned under my breath. Go away and leave me alone before I start screaming.

With these and other words, I placated them for the moment, and they left, and then I was able to put my thoughts back in order so as to continue my task - which was to produce, by Friday, a successful run of the software on the target hardware. We've never gotten the software to run completely without failing something. That's the trouble with this complicated system. There are too many ways to fail, and we haven't found nearly enough of them.

The code itself is a nightmare. It was kludged together by a disparate team of uncooperative developers under extreme schedule limitations nearly a year ago, and then it languished in limbo when the budget was slashed; then it was resurrected four or five months ago by a new team in an attempt to update it for the current requirements (which were a major departure from the previous ones). But instead of cleaning up the mess, the new team merely tacked on new functionality, which made it even more complicated.

And then I was brought on board because the Person In Charge was overwhelmed. Imagine that!

So now it's Crunch Time, and everyone wants to help by getting in the way. That's the main problem with software development managers. They think that the best solution to any schedule problem is to throw more people at it. {"If one woman can produce a baby every nine months, then nine women can produce one baby every month..."} Notwithstanding the Learning Curve. It took me three months to get familiar enough with the software that I didn't break something every time I made a change - and I'm still not as familiar with it as I should be.

This week's panic is due to the fact that the ATP (Automated Test Procedure) has to be done by Friday, or else we cannot start manufacturing and testing (and therefore "selling") these units. And the ATP is dependent on this sofware. And this software isn't done yet.

Not by a long shot.

More caffeine, please.