Disappointment

The left side of my throat has been hurting for over a week now. It started after my return from Seattle, beginning in the ear canal and sneaking downward til it got to the muscles in my throat, making it extremely painful to swallow.

Experimentation with various dosages of over-the-counter analgesics led me to self-prescribe two Excedrin migraine tablets every four hours. Anything less and it was impossible to deal with Life.

Consequently, my current daily prescription for Health and Livelihood is the abovementioned Excedrin plus one antihistamine tablet every four hours, switching to two antihistamine tablets at night right before bed. (That keeps me from waking up in the morning with severe sinus pain due to inhalation of cat fur during the night.)

My liver is probably shot by now.

The Good Doctor, who took a look at the interior of my ears and throat today, pronounced me fit as a fiddle, and proposed the thought that perhaps my malady was due to excessive drainage during the night, which irritates my throat and ear canal, causing pain. He gave me a sample container of Nasonex to try. The list of caveats for this medication is long and tedious.

It is always disappointing when the Doctor finds nothing seriously wrong in spite of the fact that the body is experiencing excruciating pain. It begs the question, Shouldn't there be some deep and dangerous meaning to all that pain? Can it really be caused by something so mundane as night drainage?

It would've been so much more satisfying had the Doctor said "Ah!", then leaned over and pulled a huge wood sliver out of my ear. It would've made more sense. We all know that slivers cause pain. And if it were long enough, it is theoretically possible that it could've stretched all the way down to the muscles of my throat to explain that pain as well.

(If this were an episode of House, they would've discovered some bizarre South American barbed tapeworm living in my Eustachian tube, feeding on ear wax and excreting hallucinogenic chemicals down my throat. Ewww!)

One side effect of all this medication is that I am exhausted all the time. And breathing in an asthmatic mode whenever attempting real exercise. Last night I attempted to run a quarter mile. My breath was gone well before the half-way point.

Such is the life of a software weenie.