Nap Time

Friday, May 19th, was my last day of contract work. That means I've been out of work for six weeks. After having a job for only a couple of months. Which came after nearly four months of being out of work.

So out of the last 7 months, I've been out of work for 5.

It's been awfully frustrating not being able to find anything. And this is with two companies trying to find me a job (over and above my own efforts). I've updated my resume several times to try to find something that will 'bite', but nothing seems to be garnering any attention. Either my resume is badly written, contains all the wrong information, or there just aren't any jobs that match up with my specific qualifications.

The one job I was able to get ended in disaster; after two months of effort, doing something I really enjoyed, they canceled the contract because I wasn't getting anywhere with it. I was flailing.

So it was back to looking for work again.

At first it appeared that there were several opportunities, but most of those have dried up and blown away, except for one I'm still waiting to hear back from. (And that one doesn't exactly line up with my skills, and will probably result in a huge increase in my stress level.)

If that isn't a good excuse for depression, I don't know what is. I'm trying hard not to get too depressed about it, but it's difficult when the number of bad things that have happened over the last year-and-a-half keeps increasing. Like:

• Friends dying
• Relatives dying (2 uncles and then Mom)
• Cars dying
• Jobs dying
• Dreams dying
• Body dying (little by little, piece by piece)
  

And the number of unfinished tasks on my plate have been doing likewise.

• House maintenance list spiraling out of control
• Number of car repairs started but still not finished
  
• Yard maintenance barely hanging on (including mower repair still not quite completed)

July is almost here, and I still can't see the light at the end of this huge, dark tunnel.

I just want to crawl into bed and stay there.

Overwhelmed by so many things to do, and so little time ...

but on the other hand ...

There are a few bright spots in life:

... a granddaughter to spoil ...

... a brilliant wife / CFO who is managing to keep us financially above water ...

... a wonderfully loving family scattered across the globe ...

... a host of friends scattered across the globe ...

... a body that miraculously keeps on breathing ... so far ...