August Highlights

It's August. Another month of unemployment. This is getting ridiculous. Out of the past 9 months, I've been unemployed for 7! (Dec-Jan-Feb-1/2 Mar-1/2 May-Jun-Jul-Aug) The strain is getting a bit much.

My contracting company contact had said I would probably start the on-boarding process for the new job on July 29th. That date came and went with no news.

Then finally on August the 12th the on-boarding started ... and I started filling out paperwork ... and then suddenly they needed my birth certificate ... and we needed to schedule someone from my contracting company to come over to the house and verify that I was in possession of a notarized copy ... and he came over, but it turns out it needed to be someone from the client's company ... so that whole process was put in limbo.

And then they needed a background check performed ... so they hired a third-party company to do the background check (after I filled out a bunch of forms) ... and who knows how long that'll take?

If I think about this too much, I'm going to start screaming. So instead I'll mention the real highlights of the month.

Trippin

On Thursday the 1st of August, Mary climbed into her Honda Accord and drove herself all the way to Maine to spend the weekend with Dylan, who was out there on a work trip. They had a marvelous time, seeing the ocean and the sights of Boston and various other historical places, making memories (and posting some of them on Facebook so the rest of us could be envious). And then she got in her car on Monday and drove -- all by herself! -- all the way back home.  I was so proud. Her Grandma Meyer, who was ready for a road trip at the drop of a hat, would be proud as well.

We are a family of road trippers.

Projects

The Snow Blower

The snow blower has been in my shop now for nearly three years, waiting for a new coat of paint on the rusty frame. Funny how salt-infused snow tends to corrode the metal tools that are used to move it off the driveway! So this month I finally had some time to sand all the rusty spots and put a coat of paint on them and then put it back together. But after three years, it's hard to remember where everything goes. Good thing we still have the user manual! And I kept all the bolts and belts and other assorted parts in a little tub where they were easy to find. So now that I've finished repainting the metal framework of the snow-blower, I just need to find the time to put it all back together.

The Camry

We bought the 2011 Camry last February so that Mary would have something affordable to drive while we figured out what was wrong with her Elantra, which had stopped working. Unfortunately, she did not like the car and decided instead to buy her own; this turned out to be a good thing because we discovered after getting the Camry home that not only did it not have heat, it also had no parking brakes. As in, someone had actually removed them. And cut the brake cables from inside the rotors. Which explains why it was such a deal!

Of course that's no problem for a DIY mechanic like me; I had the radiator flushed and and the heat working in short order. But the parking brakes took a lot more time and effort on my part to gather the parts and start working on it -- like til June! -- and even then I haven't been able to finish the work. Due to the rather peculiar design of the brakes, I haven't been able to assemble the parts (tiny metal pieces, multiple springs) in the space between the backplate and the hub. It would be easier if I had some kind of hydraulic press, but I don't. So I'm putting the job off til I get a few other projects done around here. And get a job so I can start spending some money on it.

The Elantra

Mary's old Hyundai Elantra, which suddenly stopped working last winter, has been sitting in my shop since February. We had taken it to Firestone and they pronounced it 'dead' due to a suspected timing chain issue (they said it had no compression), but in the middle of winter we didn't have time or space to deal on it so it just sat there taking up valuable space. So I finally got around to pulling the valve cover off to check the timing chain. There wasn't much of it visible, but it felt tight and, looking down the inside of the timing chain cover with a flashlight, it looked like it is still all in one piece -- I'll need to rotate the crankshaft to be sure -- but there were some other things that could be checked first, like the crankshaft sensor and the two camshaft sensors and the fuel pump and the injectors and the coil packs. I specifically suspected the crankshaft and camshaft sensors. So I pulled the crankshaft sensor but it checks out electrically; so then I pulled the camshaft position sensors, but they checked out as well. Next up is rotating the crankshaft to check the entire length of the timing chain. If that's good, I'll have to check the other possibilities, but those are going to be a pain so I'll have to dig deeper to check out the spark and fuel systems.

And now for the play-by-play...

August 1st

At 5:30 a.m., Mary departs for Maine. She arrives around 10:30 p.m. We can't help but be impressed by the way she just jumps in her car and goes. Her grandmother Meyer would be proud!

August 4th

Mason and I mounted a ceiling fan in their bedroom so they can try to stay cool for what remains of the summer. I messed it up right at the beginning by failing to tuck the ground wire all the way into the mounting box so that when it was all done, it was making a ticking noise as the fan rotated because the fan motor was hitting the wire as it turned around. That was annoying. We ran out of time the first day so I had to come back another day, leaving them without the use of the fan for a couple days, which I felt bad about. When I returned, it only took me about ten minutes to take it all apart and tuck the wire where it belonged and then put it back together again.

We also hung some curtain rods so they can hang drapes and keep the room dark during the hot summer days.

And I got to play in the attic again!

August 6th

Mary had to take her car over to the shop to have them investigate a starter issue which was supposedly fixed a few months back (due to a recall notice from Honda) but has since reared its ugly head again. It's one of those weird things which doesn't happen all the time, just intermittently enough to make her worry that she's going to end up stranded someplace. They fixed it again -- not sure exactly how this fix is different than the last one -- but we'll see how things go. If it happens again, it's most likely going to be very expensive flywheel replacement.

August 8

I came down with something which felt like Covid (or just a very bad cold) but I tested myself three times over the course of three weeks and it turned up negative each time which may not mean much if those tests can't identify the latest variant but at least it gave me an excuse to stay home and avoid people. But it also lasted through the end of the month (and beyond) and made life miserable ... as if it wasn't miserable enough being unemployed with bills to pay.

August 10th

We watched Emmy so that her parents could get a break for awhile, and mostly it was all right except that she's very clingy right now and can't stand not being able to see her mother. We got about three hours with her before we can't distract her anymore and she starts getting anxious -- luckily that's about the time the parents return from their 'break' and so it all works out.

August 12th

The Boeing "On-Boarding" process finally started with a pile of paperwork they sent to my email, which I dutifully filled out and sent back, all except the one where they needed to verify my citizenship. My passport is expired, so all I have is a notarized copy of my birth certificate. There was an idea that they could somehow come up with a way to verify this document via WebEx or something, but I have no idea how that is supposed to work. So I'll just have to wait and see what they come up with.

August 16

Cheryl went to a Yarn Fest with some friends. They had a great time wandering around all the booths and stores, seeing the different designs and colors. Due to our current financial situation, she didn't purchase anything but still managed to have fun.

August 17

Dylan traded in his Ford Ranger for a Dodge RAM 1500. It's huge! But I think he'll have a lot more fun with it because it's in much better shape. Throughout the month, I have opportunities to work on it with him, or just stand around and talk cars.

Cheryl is playing around with some sourdough starter she got from her friend Carolyn. Every couple weeks she has to discard a certain amount of it and make something. So far, she's made biscuits and pop-overs and (of course) sourdough bread. It's yummy! So now I'm going to have to watch my weight again. Sigh.

Since the Boeing job has to do with hardware, I'm going back to my electronic roots and playing with circuit design again. I have KiCad installed on all my computer and I'm using it to create schematics and run simulations of the circuits to make sure they work. Some of it is easy, but simulations of oscillators are more difficult because they have to be set up a certain way and I'm unable to get it to work right. Meanwhile, I'm rebuilding an old Radio Shack power supply that went bad. It dates from back in the 70s! It's supposed to put out 12 volts but for some reason, it's putting out nearly 16. I was trying to use it to test the sensors on the Elantra but they don't handle voltages that high. So I have to fix it!

August 19

School started on the 19th so for the first time since the start of summer, I have the house (almost) all to myself by 8:30 in the morning. Except for Adam. He's in a different time zone than the rest of us, getting up around 1 in the afternoon and going to work from 3 pm until 11 pm. That seems to fit his circadian rhythm at the moment. It's kind of weird to have such a quiet house again! But it also reminds me that I need to find work because I can't just goof around all day when there's no one to keep tabs on me. I have to be productive. So I work on my resume and keep sending it out to prospective employers in the hopes that someone else will respond. Because this Boeing "on-boarding" is taking way too long, and I can't keep living on hopes and dreams.

August 22

We celebrated our 32nd Wedding Anniversary with dinner at our favorite sushi restaurant, Jaku. I'm still not feeling very well and my cough isn't improving. I hope Cheryl doesn't get it, too, but it's highly likely that she will.

Also on the 22nd, one of the kids Mary and I used to teach in Sunday School, now practically grown up, was involved in a car accident and had to be taken to ICU. We didn't actually find out about this until the 25th. We're still waiting to hear how that turns out. [As of the end of the month, he was still there.]

August 23rd

Dylan is done with his old apartment and brought over all the rest of his belongings to his new home in our basement. I don't know where we're going to fit it all. We have a serious storage issue here. We have a lot in the storage unit but we can't keep paying for it, so we have to sell off a couple cars and then figure out where to put all the things that are still in storage. That includes some of Deb & Mason's stuff, and some of the other kids' stuff. It feels like every nook and cranny of the house is jammed full. I'm afraid to put anything more in the loft or attic for fear the house will collapse under the weight!

August 25th

We found out from James and Tabea that they are expecting a little girl! But don't tell anyone. It's a secret!

I helped Mason change the oil in his car, and Emmy decided to help as well. She brought the oil filter to us! And then sat on the driveway and watched us playing with the big oily mess until her mother came and took her back inside so that she would not get sunburned from the very bright sunlight.

August 26

Dylan got new tires for his truck. We won't mention the cost. It is too depressing. But they are big tires. Does that offset the impact of tire inflation?

August 27

Cheryl finally got my virus so now we are competing for loudest & longest & deepest cough. She also had to take a day off from school. I can't do that since I'm working from home.

August 29th

I finally managed to get all the extra things put away so that Mary can park in the garage again. And took a lot of stuff over to the storage unit. I was hoping to start pulling things out, and instead I keep putting things in. I'm going to need to get in here and re-organize everything.

August 30th

Went to D&D again finally. It was a lot of fun. Our host family made a Tator-Tot cassarole! So we helped eat it all up. Or mostly. We had a fantastic battle with a tentacled panther (I can't remember what it's called). It was an exhausting yet satisfying evening.

August 31st

In the garage, I moved the Elantra out of the way so I could re-organize my power tools and pull out the table saw and cut up some junk wood that was taking up too much space. Also helped Dylan out with his truck. Cheryl made sourdough biscuits from the discard and it was heavenly!

July Highlights

It's July. I've been unemployed since mid-May. Anxiety is slowly transforming into full-blown worry.

There's still that potential job with Boeing as a hardware Certification engineer (kind of a consultant position). They sent me some documentation about it. I think that means they're considering me for the position, but I really don't know. I read it. Seems like something I could do -- but it's not a perfect fit. Couldn't I just get paid to stay at home and work on cars?

Probably not. And things are getting tight budget-wise. Any remaining ego and self-respect are gone.

We went over to Mason & Deb's for a 4th of July cookout. Brought my folding ladder so Mason could climb up on his roof later on to enjoy the fireworks. We didn't stay long. Once Emmy was finished with her dinner and her bath, we skedaddled back home so the parents could relax and get a little downtime.

On the 5th, Cheryl and I went with Mary and Dylan to the Air Zoo down in Kalamazoo, one of my favorite places. I took a million pictures (of course) but I won't bore you with them. Just imagine all the airplanes in the world in various states of repair, from pristine to Is that really an airplane? and you'll have an idea. The kind of visit which makes you want to go directly from there to Dayton or Pima or maybe even Washington, D.C. to spend a year or so just staring at aircraft and spacecraft and any little craft in between.

There was the inevitable car work. I've been trying to install the parking brakes in the Camry but having difficulty because I can't fit my big, fat hand between the hub and the backplate to get all those springy springs properly seated. With the help of a 1/2" breaker bar, I finally managed to get the hub+backplate off the car which I thought would make things easier since I could use the workbench to install the parts but that didn't help as much as I had hoped because I still can't separate the backplate off the hub without a press or some other tool I don't have. Rats. I'm stuck. And there are too many other things which have higher priority.

Like getting a job.

My contact at Triple Crown told me about an opening with Teledyne located in Elgin, Il, just northwest of Chicago. It's on on-site job so I'm not excited about it, but I'm running out of options here.

So I said OK and she set up an interview for me. She warned me that there was a coding test. I hate coding tests. They generally like to ask trick questions about esoteric features that no one uses -- or they ask about the concepts that we all learned in college but haven't thought about since we graduated because now we just know how to "do" it but couldn't explain it if we tried.

I did the interview a couple days later (on the 10th) and it was a disaster. It was like the interviewer and I were on different wavelengths (or different planets). He would ask a question and I'd try to figure out what he was asking, and then I'd answer and he'd look at me like I was speaking a different language. Then we got around to the actual coding test and I just flubbed it. Apparently I'd studied all the wrong code. And I got nervous. It was humiliating and embarrassing and drained all the happiness out of my life for at least the next week.

And still nothing more about the Boeing job.

We drove down to Indiana on the 12th for the Reunion. I drove with Deb and Emmy; Cheryl drove with Adam; Mary and Dylan visited some friends along the way so got down there a bit later than the rest of us. Cheryl and Adam and I stayed in the cabins in the park (which was lots of fun and very relaxing) while the rest stayed in motels. Even though we had a mouse in our cabin, I prefer it to the motels.

Since Cheryl and Nancy had made the arrangements for the site, we went over to the park office early in the morning and picked up the key to open the gate, then we went over and started setting up. Judy and Dad arrived around 10, and the rest of the crew (except for Brian) were ready to go by noon, so we commenced pretty much on-time and had a wonderful feast. Then us older folks went on a hike along the river before heading over to Betty's for the traditional home-made ice cream and leftovers. After much chatter (and good-byes to Deb & Emmy who were heading back to their motel for bed), we went back to our cabin for a quiet evening. In the morning, we packed up, checked out, and I dropped Cheryl off at Deb's motel so she could help drive them back up north while I went into Bloomington to go to church with Jerry and Naomi and then out to Culver's for lunch. Afterward, I headed up to Indianapolis to hang out with Judy and Dad at their hotel (they were flying out early the next morning) before driving home.

Finally something from Boeing: no on-boarding yet since the Hiring Manager is on vacation. Huh? It's been over a month and they're still lolly-gagging over the hiring process. I'm wondering how serious they are about this. My Randstad contact says that the on-boarding goal is (now) July 29th.

While I wait, I finally got back to the Corolla wiring which still has something screwy with the headlights -- they only work when you push the stick to enable the brights -- but wasn't able to figure out what is going on. So instead I helped Deb watch her nanny kids at the pool a couple times because (apparently) I have lots of free time -- and love hanging out with kids! Also helped Cheryl create an interview video as she is looking into a teaching job at another school.

On the 26th, Cheryl and Mary and Deb (with Emmy) drove out to Illinois on the Mississippi River for a Girl's Weekend where they got to hang out with Sandra and Isabelle and Maisie. I stayed home with Adam and ate junk food and sat up all night watching action movies. (Actually, I had lots of veggies and watched one movie before falling asleep on the couch.)

I sent out more resumes. 

We started moving all of Deb & Mason's boxes out of the basement and into the garage so she can go through them and figure out what to throw out and what to keep.

Mary started planning a drive up to Maine -- by herself! -- next month to meet up with Dylan, who will be up there on a business trip.

Sumpin Silly

 

The good news is that our battery-backup sump pump worked.

The bad news is that our sump pump died.

Post-failure analysis revealed that the start capacitor for the pump had a crack in it, evidence of age and/or overheating.

Funny thing about those electrolytic capacitors; they are the component most likely to fail in electronics like pumps (sump and HVAC and fans) and LED lighting.

This particular unit, according to Cheryl's research, was purchased a scant 4 years ago. This is far too short a lifetime for a sump pump which hasn't actually been run much. But the first sump pump in the house -- which was installed by the contractors -- only lasted six months. The next one lasted ten years. So they are very inconsistent.

==

I got up early on Saturday morning to make Cheryl's coffee and first noticed that the back deck had water standing so I knew there had been substantial rain the night before. And then I heard what sounded like an airplane passing overhead -- except it didn't fade away. And the floor was rumbling. And then I realized that it wasn't an airplane, it was the sump pump, and it didn't sound right. It sounding ... different. So I immediately panicked, not because of the thought of water rising in the basement, but rather the fact that I couldn't just rush down into the basement to check it because first it was necessary to notify the renters downstairs so I wouldn't presume upon their privacy.

So I sent a text to Mary and (luckily!) she responded quickly and positively, and down I went to the mechanical room.

The floor was wet but only near the backup battery, which was odd. And the backup pump was kicking on about every 30 seconds. It was impossible to tell how long the pump had been running but the meter on the battery indicated that the voltage was dropping down to about 8 volts instead of the normal 12, so it was obvious that it had been running quite a while.

Having no idea how much longer it would keep going, I rushed over to the hardware store and bought a new pump and brought it back home and pulled the "pump assembly" (containing both the primary and backup pumps) and disconnected the old primary and installed the new one and then dropped the pumps assembly back into the sump and plugged it all in and -- it worked!

Taking the old one back into the garage, I tore it down, being careful to do it inside a plastic tub (because the pump is full of mineral oil) and found the cracked capacitor. Because I just have to know.

Nap Time

Friday, May 19th, was my last day of contract work. That means I've been out of work for six weeks. After having a job for only a couple of months. Which came after nearly four months of being out of work.

So out of the last 7 months, I've been out of work for 5.

It's been awfully frustrating not being able to find anything. And this is with two companies trying to find me a job (over and above my own efforts). I've updated my resume several times to try to find something that will 'bite', but nothing seems to be garnering any attention. Either my resume is badly written, contains all the wrong information, or there just aren't any jobs that match up with my specific qualifications.

The one job I was able to get ended in disaster; after two months of effort, doing something I really enjoyed, they canceled the contract because I wasn't getting anywhere with it. I was flailing.

So it was back to looking for work again.

At first it appeared that there were several opportunities, but most of those have dried up and blown away, except for one I'm still waiting to hear back from. (And that one doesn't exactly line up with my skills, and will probably result in a huge increase in my stress level.)

If that isn't a good excuse for depression, I don't know what is. I'm trying hard not to get too depressed about it, but it's difficult when the number of bad things that have happened over the last year-and-a-half keeps increasing. Like:

• Friends dying
• Relatives dying (2 uncles and then Mom)
• Cars dying
• Jobs dying
• Dreams dying
• Body dying (little by little, piece by piece)
  

And the number of unfinished tasks on my plate have been doing likewise.

• House maintenance list spiraling out of control
• Number of car repairs started but still not finished
  
• Yard maintenance barely hanging on (including mower repair still not quite completed)

July is almost here, and I still can't see the light at the end of this huge, dark tunnel.

I just want to crawl into bed and stay there.

Overwhelmed by so many things to do, and so little time ...

but on the other hand ...

There are a few bright spots in life:

... a granddaughter to spoil ...

... a brilliant wife / CFO who is managing to keep us financially above water ...

... a wonderfully loving family scattered across the globe ...

... a host of friends scattered across the globe ...

... a body that miraculously keeps on breathing ... so far ...

Mom's Birthday

Today is Mom's birthday.

I was always proud of the fact that Mom and I shared a birthday month, that her birthday was less than a week away from mine. It always felt like I had a special connection to her for that reason, although that's not really much of a reason at all. But I felt closer to her because of it.

I like to imagine that she's in what passes for a heavenly Red Lobster having a feast with all of her kith & kin, enjoying the company of all those who've gone before, especially her beloved big brothers who have promised to go tractor-racing after dinner.

I can't wait for my next opportunity to see her again, to just sit and talk and listen to her stories, especially the funny ones, even if I've heard them over and over again. She could be such a chatterbox at times! And I loved every minute. Sitting around the living room or table or standing in the kitchen with a hot sink full of dishes while listening to her stories were among my favorite memories.

How I miss her.

Birthdays

June 2024

I really don't feel much like celebrating so I won't. We'll get around to it eventually, and today just isn't convenient for everyone. So I'll just keep working on things around the house and try not to think of how I brought us to this low point.

We were going to head down south an hour or so to grab pizza at one of our favorite restaurants but it just didn't work out, so instead I just puttered around in the garage and then did some coding.

Actually, it's kind of nice to just putter. I don't like the stress of figuring out what to do when everyone has their own agendas and schedules and they can't be aligned properly. It's not worth getting stressed over.

So I won't. I'll have fun instead.

Happy Birthday, Me!

Canceled

May 2024

I wasn't able to solve the problem. The project was canceled. I look like -- and feel like -- an idiot.

And now I'm unemployed again.

I'm not sure how much worse this can get. No income, still trying to make up for three-and-a-half months of unemployment, my reputation in tatters, a huge queue of incomplete projects around the house ... I'm feeling pretty low.

Not sure what to do.

Stress

April 2024

I thought this job was going to be a cinch, but it turns out to be an awful mess. I'm in over my head and sinking fast!

Today is Dad's birthday, and also the day I asked my manager for some help -- but I'm not sure if he's going to be able to provide any. Last time I asked for help, he brought in a (very nice) guy who is more of a Windows expert than a Linux expert, and I wasn't able to use his advice very effectively.

If I don't figure out this issue quickly, we're going to lose the contract, and I'm going to look like a complete idiot. If I don't already...

New Job!

March 2024

After four months of unemployment and stress, I finally started a new job today.  Hooray!

The job is very interesting: Researching the options for replacing a no-longer-supported Windows CE Operating System on a medical device with a Real-Time version of Linux Ubuntu.

Having been forewarned by my recruiter as to the nature of the work, I actually started looking into it last week and figured out that I will need to learn everything about the following:

Yocto - which creates software packages for installing the Linux Operating System

U-boot - which is the program that boots up your computer

Qt - the software that creates and manages the Graphical User Interface (GUI) in Linux

I installed Yocto on my 'fast' laptop and tried using it to generate Linux builds for my Raspberry Pi. Then used the Raspberry Pi to go through some device driver tutorials. That was fun!

On Friday, FedEx was supposed to deliver the client hardware but they claimed that they couldn't find the house. By the time I was notified about it, the hardware had been take back to their local office and it was too late to go get it. So I had to run over there on Saturday and pick it up.

There are two boxes, one containing my 'company' laptop and another containing the prototype hardware I'm supposed to be using. I didn't try setting it up til today because I don't have all the information to set up the network or even log in to the laptop yet. And I'm certainly not going to try turning on the prototype hardware until I get some instructions first! I don't want to start out by frying the hardware.

We had our "Kick-Off" meeting today and they went over the planned schedule and expectations. I don't know how they expect to get this done in only 3 months; I'm supposed to get the following done:

1. Examine the existing Windows CE-based software and understand how it works.
2. Build the old software using Visual Studio and load it on the prototype hardware
3. Build a basic Ubuntu system (using Yocto) which will run on the prototype hardware.
4. Convert the Ubuntu system from 'standard' Linux to Real-Time Linux.
5. Rework all the device drivers supporting the hardware on the board to function under Real-Time Linux.
6. Generate a report describing in detail the entire process.

Easy-peasy! (If I had about a year)

For now I'm just going to focus on loading the Yocto software and seeing if I can run through the simple tutorials or something to make sure I know what I'm doing.

Fun!

One Year Ago

It was a year ago today that a little part of my brain died, taking some control systems down with it.

In the ensuing year, there have been little signs that life will never be the same again. I get twinges in my head which feel like the onset of a headache; they are signals that I need to stop what I am doing and rest. Typically a thirty minute nap is sufficient to feel almost back to normal, but sometimes it isn't enough. The odd feeling is not affected by the ingestion of analgesics or NSAIDs or even antihistamines. It's just my brain saying, "Stop. I've had enough. I need to spend some time getting rid of the junk floating around up here in the cerebrospinal fluid and I can't do it with all this consciousness  going on!"

My day now requires, at some point, a nap. Not a long nap, but a nap nonetheless. This isn't a bad thing since I'm working from home, but it would be quite difficult were I required to work a full-time desk job at some office. I'm not sure what this means for the future.

Cheryl has been looking into the possibility of my retirement, but we don't have quite enough money for that. We don't own our house yet, and it's difficult to see how that is going to happen anytime in the near future given our current situation. From what we can figure, I need to keep working until at least the age of 70, but I seriously doubt that's going to happen. My body just isn't up for it.

When I wake up in the morning these days, I'm always waiting for the next shoe to drop ... on my head.

Joe

Joel B. Rockstead died early on a Saturday morning in Arlington, Washington, after he had been brought home from the hospital to be with his family. He was my friend.

We met at the first organizational meeting of the Lake Stevens Cub Scouts back in 2002 or so; the boys had been brainwashed by some of the other kids in school and decided to join the Scouts and so, like any father wanting his children to have all the good things in life, I took them to the meeting so we could get the lay of the land and meet all the other young fathers and sons.

The intent of the meeting was to split the boys up into dens and appoint den leaders from among the grim-faced adults in attendance. When they asked for volunteers to lead dens, Joe and Marilyn were among the first to raise their hands. That's the kind of people they were.

In this area of town, they stood out in ways that weren't always comfortable. They didn't wear the fanciest clothes, they didn't drive the latest cars, and their kids weren't the best-behaved. To some, they came across as a little bit backwoods, a bit rough around the edges. Lake Stevens was a bedroom community for many of the folks who worked down at the Boeing plant down in Everett; there were a lot of well-paid engineers and managers and other successful businessmen in town; there were also a lot of blue-collar machinists and other hands-on professionals. Joe and Marilyn weren't part of either of those groups. Joe was definitely blue-collar, but he was more of a jack-of-all trades, doing construction and road work and whatever else he could do to put food on the table. He'd worked at NAPA for awhile and really enjoyed that. But when we all gathered around to organize the Scout dens, he was just a care-worn guy who looked a bit older than the rest.

But he and Marilyn wanted to be a part of their kids' lives, and they were willing to put their money where their mouths were. They volunteered. And since we lived in relative close proximity to them -- they were just down the street a ways -- we were put in their den.

I noticed (but didn't say anything at the time) that the rest of the folks were not so eager to join Joe's den once they got a look at him. It was understandable, I suppose, as most parents want their den leaders to look a certain way, act a certain way. Joe was never one to cater to anyone else's whims. He was who he was.

Over the next couple of years, we had a lot of fun with them. Joe and Marilyn and I would work on putting the meetings together and going through the Scout handbooks to help the boys get their badges and ranks. At the beginning, there were quite a few families in our den. But as time went by, all of the rest of them either dropped Scouts or dropped us. There was at least one family that specifically dropped us because they didn't feel comfortable hanging out with "people like Joe". That really hurt. In the end, it was just Joe and Marilyn and I and the four boys. We kept it going right up to the point where we moved to Michigan.

And even after that, Joe kept in touch. He called just about every week for the next 20 years. Sometimes he was in a bad mood, complaining about something that had gone wrong or some financial stress he was undergoing, especially when either he or Marilyn came down sick. Since she was diabetic and he was epileptic and suffering from Crohn's Disease, that happened quite often. But they never let little things like that (!) get in their way. They continued to enjoy being with family and go on camping trips and help their family any way they could. And call us up often to share their lives with us.

Joe also called up when good things would happen, like when they'd get a new (used) car or move to a new place or when there was a new addition to the family. And most especially when they decided to become Christians after finding a church in the Granite Falls area.

Since they were both living on Social Security, they never had much money; but they managed to create a nice life together. No matter what kind of hardships came their way, they went through it together. And they shared all those things, good and bad, with us.

We were able to visit them a few times on the occasion we'd come out to visit our relatives in Washington. Back when they were living in Marysville, we took the family out for a nice buffet dinner. When they were living in Granite Falls, they hosted us at their place for a wonderful barbecued-chicken dinner. And when they were living out in Eastern Washington near Spokane, we took them out for dinner again. We had fun trading back and forth.

And then just a couple years ago, Marilyn got really sick, so sick that they had to move back to Western Washington to be near family. And so it was that just after Deb's wedding, I flew out to say good-bye to her at their home about four hours before she died.

For the next couple years, Joe continued to call me diligently, sometimes once a week, sometimes multiple times. He often cried as he told me how much he missed Marilyn -- but he believed that he would be seeing her again. Given the cancers that started ravaging his body, including lungs, liver and brain, he knew it wouldn't be long (but he sure put up a good fight!). And he started calling me every other day, right up to the time when his cancer took away his ability to speak.

He died February 10th. I didn't get a chance to talk to him before he died. And I didn't get a chance to see him at all. But as a good friend reminded me, he knew I was coming. He knew.

And although I am sad that he is no longer with us, I am happy that he is now at peace.

Visitation

The attendance at the little church on the highway was nearly doubled this morning owing to the great number of family and friends who had come to pay their respects to my mother, not only for her life-long faith in God but also for her devotion and loyalty to my father whom she had followed all over the United States as he performed the job for which he felt called.

It was one of those beautiful Texas winter mornings where the sky is blue and the sun is shining and the air is comfortably cool enough to warrant light jackets. As is our custom, Dad and I opened the building and turned on the lights and the heat and greeted folks as they arrived. The regulars came in and shook our hands and extended their condolences and then stood around to meet the friends and family and make them feel at home. Normally there are around 30 regular attendees; today there were well over 70.

Normally I would be leading the singing for both the Bible Class and the Worship service but today as one of the grieving family I was allowed to just sit in the pew with the rest and practice my harmonies. The Hopkins boys took on the song-leading responsibilities, and there was a guest preacher (Charles) so Dad could relax for the morning (although he would have been happy to do the lessons himself).

Charles taught the Bible Class and then did the sermon as well. My brain was far too foggy to remember what was said. I'm sure he understood our preoccupation.

As soon as the service was over, the family headed back to the ranch to eat a quick lunch as we were expected to be over at the funeral home prior to two o'clock for the Visitation. We ate quickly and spent a little while chatting; Dad went over earlier than the rest. Cheryl and I followed soon after.

The funeral home was laid out into four basic rooms: a conference room up front, a large gathering room in the middle, the viewing room with the casket to the left of the gathering room, and a smaller overflow room to the right. Most everyone milled around in the gathering room or walked reverently past Mom's casket, with the right-side room being used mainly by those who had brought small children. The video presentation of Mom's life was playing in the conference room and in the back of the gathering room.

We hung out for nearly the entire two hours, from 2 til 4 pm. There were lots of family and friends we hadn't seen in quite a while. We heard lots of stories about Mom and what a wonderful person she'd been, as friend, sister, cousin, mother, grandmother. It would have been nice to record them all -- but that would've been a bit unwieldy to arrange. It was sufficient to wander around the room and catch stories here and there, little bits of conversation that were passing around the room like loose balloons in the wind.

It was odd seeing Mom in her casket all done up like she was sleeping. Of course she doesn't really look like she's just sleeping; no one ever does. There's always some level of lifelessness to the bodies on display in caskets even if the makeup is perfect. There's a level of unreal stillness to a body that can't be faked by the living; or perhaps it could be said that there's an realism in the subtle motion of a living body that can't be duplicated by a corpse. Her hands in particular looked far too flat and still to be living. That helped to reduce the disquiet of being around the shell of what had once been my mother. It was obvious that she wasn't there anymore. She was gone; whatever soul/spirit had once inhabited that body was long gone. I don't like open casket visitations or funeral services as a rule. I don't need to see the body to know that it is no longer in use. I'd rather remember them as they were in life: vibrant, colorful, exuberant, in motion. I'd rather just look at portraits taken in their prime. Better yet, a sequence of portraits showing them from youth to middle age. We can skip the older, decrepit years. Those are just depressing.

After it was all done and they were ready to usher us out, we went back to the ranch to get some dinner. Dad and Mike Hardaway and I went to Dad's office and worked on the Order of Service for the funeral. I wasn't particularly hungry so took a walk around the property to do some thinking and then went inside to take a nap and try to remove the fuzz from my brain.

It almost worked.

Mom

Mom died early on a Monday morning with the blue sky outside her window and a little blue jay-bird pecking at the feeder. Jeanne was holding her hand as she took her last breath.

The last few days had been difficult as we struggled to deal with her pain and anxiety. 

When we first got here, she was surprisingly cognizant of the world around her, far more than we had been led to believe. It's difficult to adequately convey the mindset of an ailing person when you've been dealing with them day after day through a spectrum of ups and downs, highs and lows; you tend to focus on the frustrating moments, the failure moments, the blank-brain episodes when they can't quite remember the words or they can't understand yours; and then you amplify your them in importance as the despair envelops you and you need to make others understand the depth of your feeling. But there were moments when the clouds cleared and normality returned and it was as though there was nothing wrong in the whole world other than the fact that she was still dressed in her nightgown in the middle of the afternoon.

Jeanne and Jan and Dad had been dealing with it for weeks by the time we arrived. In that time, she had lost a lot of ground. Her mobility was nearly gone; she could not walk; she could not stand by herself; her only mode of transport between the bedroom and the bathroom and the dinner table and the back room was the wheelchair. While we were there, she became even more constrained and was confined to her bed. The hospice nurses were now coming every day. In the last couple of days, the hospice nurses were coming every day, and we were administering medications every hour. We were not getting a great deal of sleep. Dad was on the trundle bed in her room; Jeanne and her dog Wendy were in the room across the hall; Cheryl and I were upstairs in Dad's room. Sleep was difficult if not impossible. I lay on the bed with my face glued to the monitor which displayed the night-vision image of my mother as she lay dying, jumping to my feet whenever it appeared that Mom was restless and needing assistance. But my help was superfluous: Dad and Jeanne were right there on the spot and dealing with it. 

We tracked her transitions through the phases of death. Saturday morning was the last time I was able to talk to her with any kind of response. By Saturday afternoon, she had moved onto the self-focused phase where she was unable to communicate in any real sense. Her eyes were mostly closed and she breathed in rasping, rattling sounds which continued all night long. Her medication doses were increased to reduce the apparent pain and discomfort she was experiencing, and she slept more peacefully throughout Sunday, although her breathing was still loud due to some kind of aspiration.

Monday morning around 8 am, we administered a scheduled dose of pain and anxiety medications and then turned her over so that she could breathe more easily. Dad went upstairs to get a shower. Jeanne held her hand. I went into the kitchen to get a drink. And then Jeanne called out that Mom had stopped breathing.

And she had.

Front-Loader Issues

Several years ago we transitioned from the old-fashioned top-loader washing machine to the modern, fancy-dancy front-loader. Everyone said it was much better than the old ones: more convenient, more efficient, more durable, better for the environment, etc..

It does have a few little quirks, though. For instance, they recommend that you leave the front loading door open when not in use.

We didn't discover the reason for this recommendation until we discovered, much to our horror, that the front-loading door seal/gasket/thingie on our washer had turned into a mildew factory. And we didn't make this discovery via our eyes, but rather with our noses. The entire laundry room started to smell really bad. It wasn't hard to pinpoint the source of the smell, either. Just open the washing machine door and take a good, long whiff. Eww!

So we ordered a new seal for the machine and I pulled the old one out and installed the new one over the course of a couple days. Due to the extremely strong wire-and-spring mechanism used to ensure a good seal, it took me several hours of pain and torture -- and the purchase of a special spring-stretching tool online -- to install it.

I'm lucky to have all my fingers after that little jaunt into the world of appliance repair.

But this wasn't the only anomaly which presented itself with this particular design. At some time after we'd been using it for awhile, water started leaking out the front of the unit -- just under the dispenser drawer -- and onto the floor (which is just above the basement bedroom). We called the Help line for LG and were able to speak with a few different people (in some far-off land where English is not the primary language, e.g. India, Philippines, etc.) who assured us that it was due to the fact that we were not using the correct detergent; we were supposed to be using the liquid concentrate instead of the powder. That sounded completely ludicrous to me, so instead of taking their idiotic advice, I tore the washer apart and discovered that there was no one-way flapper valve to prevent the water from back-flowing into the dispenser once the fill/rinse cycle began, so every time the basket started to turn, it would fling water back through the dispenser mechanism and out onto the floor. Genius!

The little computer within the washing machine (everything has to have a computer inside these days) precisely calculates the amount of water to use for the rinse/wash cycles by 'weighing' the clothes and determining how much water is needed to ensure every nook and cranny of the clothing is filled with cleansing suds. But if the clothes are already wet, as sometimes occurs when those 'clothes' happen to be wet towels which have been used to mop up the occasional spill, the little computer will over-estimate the amount of water needed because it doesn't realize that the fabric is already completely saturated. The result is an overfill; too much water in the basket for the amount of fabric to be washed. Thus when the basket begins to roll to and fro, the excess water will back-flow up through the basket inflow hose. And since there is no backflow valve, that water rushes back up the hose and into the dispenser and then out onto the floor.

So we have to be careful about the types of things we put in the wash. Pre-saturated items must be thoroughly wrung out first.

(Also, we had to buy a shallow pan to put underneath the washing machine just in case it leaks for any other reason, it doesn't end up flooding the basement!)

As if that weren't enough, lately it began leaking from the bottom of the door. Not a lot, and only during specific cycles (i.e. Delicates) which was very confusing. It took us a few observations to discover that the water splashing up onto the front glass during those cycles was then coming down through a vent hole in the outer door seal -- a hole which is not a tear or rip in the seal but one which is apparently designed to be there! -- and then into the shallow pan.

But why now? Why after all this time? Another mystery to ponder.

My only recourse at this point, I suppose, is to order new inner and outer seals and replace both of them, and then see what happens. Of course, they aren't cheap. The inner seal is somewhere in the neighborhood of $90. I haven't priced the outer seal yet.

I'm beginning to miss the old top-loader.

Things To Do : 2024 Version

The end of 2023 caught me by surprise because there are still so many things that need to get fixed before the New Year.

But it's too late now! The New Year is upon us, and the things that didn't get fixed last year have been dragged kicking and screaming into this one.

House

I've got my office set up in the front room now -- probably the most usage this room has had in the nearly twenty years we've been living here -- but it's a disorganized mess and needs to be organized before my next job begins.

The basement is currently occupied by our tenant but needs to be finished, since there are still ceiling panels and baseboards missing. And the library room is only used for storage right now since there isn't room in the house for all my electronics and some leftover items from the Swiders.

It's too late now to find out where the wasps made their nest, but I still need to figure out how they got in the house into the little bedroom down there. I'm afraid they built it somewhere inside the walls. If I don't locate it, remove it and destroy the hibernating queen, it's going to be worse next spring. 

The back deck still has planters (with plants) on it, along with the outdoor table we purchased last spring. I was able to hide all the chairs up in the loft, but the whole deck needs to be cleared off before the snow falls -- because the snow generally remains on the deck all winter.

Garage

The 3rd bay of the garage is a cluttered mess. It is full of junk that needs to be sorted and put in the (1) attic or (2) loft or (3) trash. It always takes me way too long to decide in which category they go.

The 2nd bay of the garage containing my worktables is a cluttered, filthy mess. I need to toss the garbage, clean the work surfaces, and put away my tools.

The 1st bay of the garage has overflowing shelves and overflowing junk on the floor (e.g. unused flooring from the basement that we're keeping in case we need to perform repairs). It all needs to be organized.

The (dead) 2013 Elantra is still sitting askew in my driveway. The third bay of the garage, which was supposed to be its winter parking spot, is jammed full of other things that need to be placed elsewhere.

The 2001 Corolla has a weird headlight wiring issue which must be resolved before Adam can safely drive it to his second-shift job.

The 2000 Camry is still sitting in the storage unit waiting for my attention. One of the wheels has gone flat and I need to check the battery charge.

The new-to-us 2011 Camry has a non-functional heater which is a no-go for Michigan winters. I'm hoping it's a simple case of needing a radiator/heater core flush. Or maybe a bad thermostat.

Mary is still trying to find a car of her own. She got a pre-approval letter from the bank and is just itching to get into a loan situation so she can be like the rest of us debt-ridden citizens.

The 2010 Rav, while now possessing a functional parking brake system for both sides, needs to have the passenger-side cable replaced as it has been stretched too much and it doesn't match the length of the driver-side one. This causes a noticeable 'jump' point in the parking brake operation when one side has gone taut and the other side still has a ways to go.

The Yard

I probably shouldn't even mention the yard since it is winter and we can't do anything with it, but I'm still (kind of) using the compost pile to put our 'used' veggies in, so that needs to be raked over and prepped for winter. It would be nice to have a cover over it to retain some heat in order to keep the fermentation/breakdown of vegetable matter going.