My brain is on hold for awhile. Got too many things going through it, nothing lucid, nothing substantial. Lots of confusion, lots of anxiety, lots of uncertainty. Jobs, health, friends, neighbors, church. Life.
Little kid next door just died of SIDS. One year old. Can't get the image out of my head. I spent most of our kids' early life worrying about them pulling a stunt like that, and then one day it happens to the kid next door. I feel incredibly sad and incredibly powerless and incredibly uncomfortable - and meanwhile over in the house next door, they're in all kinds of pain and despair and wonder (mostly Where is God? kind of wonder, even though they're believers).
Jobs are disappearing, economy is going south, there are lots of things that are just in a weird, tentative, edge-of-the-cliff state, and I just want to stop thinking about it and disappear into some serious coding or writing or something, behind thick walls, behind a locked door, closed off from the reality of Bad Things That Happen.
Of course, that would also block off the Good Things, which is why I don't do it. But days like this, all you can do is kiss your spouse, hug your kids, cuddle under and blanket and pray to God that it all makes sense in the End, because it sure don't make sense right now.
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